


True Colors

by arjasmo



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2015-11-27
Packaged: 2018-05-02 03:37:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 27,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5232464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arjasmo/pseuds/arjasmo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In the three weeks Rose Tyler had known John Smith, she had learned one thing: she hated him. He was pompous, arrogant, condescending, and occasionally downright mean. He was her employer and it took everything she could do on a daily basis not to quit and run away. But she couldn’t, she had to protect him. He was her Doctor and she had to keep him from being found by the Family. Three months, it was only for three months. She repeated that mantra to herself daily. But that was also three months that she had to keep from strangling him, and each day that was getting harder and harder.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story came to me while thinking about “What would happen if all of a sudden Rose didn’t like the Doctor? Then I had to figure out what would cause that. This came from that. He became John Smith and is not a nice man to her. 
> 
> This is a completed story and I will post chunks of it frequently.

Chapter 1  
“Rose! Rose!” John Smith bellowed into the hallway. 

Rose grumbled under her breath and yelled back thorough her closed bedroom door, “I’m coming, hold your horses.”

“Rose, hurry, I need you!” he practically screamed back. 

Sliding on her shoe, Rose grabbed her bag and opened her door, pointing a murderous look down the hall at the tall skinny man at the end. He looked angry and frustrated; his hair literally standing on end, face reddened and hands on hips. She took a steadying breath. “Yes D-Mr. Smith?”

“Where is my tea? I told you I wanted tea and it isn’t there.”

Was that all? He had been screaming like he was being tortured. Rose thought. “You told me last night that you wanted coffee in the morning.” 

“Did I?”

“Yes you did, and it’s already to drink. I programmed the coffee maker last night.”

“Well you should have known I would want tea. I always want tea. Make it please I’ll take it in my study with my breakfast.”

“I’m not your cook.”

“You ARE my assistant and may I remind you that I am paying you. So assist!” With that John turned on his heel and stomped off to his study. 

Rose waited for him to slam the door, grabbed a throw pillow off a nearby couch and screamed into it. This was her life now, at least for the next nine weeks. Ever since he had used the chameleon arch, the Doctor had been, well a git. 

Rose trudged into the kitchen with a sigh. When this all started it sounded like it wouldn’t be that bad. She would babysit him for three months while the laid low to avoid aliens that wanted to take over his body to become immortal. Ok, maybe it did sound bad. 

It had begun innocently enough. They had made a brief stop off at a pleasure planet to ride the antigravity rides. It was a great time. The next thing she knew, there was an explosion and the Doctor was dragging her into the TARDIS. 

“Did they see you?” he screamed.

“Who?” she yelled back.

“The Family, did they see your face?”

“I didn’t see anyone Doctor, I don’t think so, why?”

The Doctor strode over to Rose and took her by the shoulders. “I need to know if they saw you. It’s very important…”

And so it went. Well technically so he went. A quick explanation, Rose was sent to go fetch some clothes, by the time she came back he had a strange headset coming down from the ceiling, and a fob watch. Then there was screaming, a lot of screaming. Rose held tight to the console, sobbing, watching her Doctor be wracked in pain but knowing that she couldn’t touch him. 

Now there was an entirely different reality. The one where Rose was the assistant, a word she hated, and he was the newest, hottest science fiction author on the New York Times best seller list. She had to hand it to the TARDIS, his cover story was brilliant. How she had been able to pull it off, even having the books available for sale was astounding. 

Now Rose was tasked with babysitting for three months. At first she quite fancied the idea of dealing with a human Doctor. Perhaps this new him would not have the boundaries that the Time Lord one did. Perhaps once they got to know each other he would be more open to things, more open to her. That was, of course, lovely speculation until he opened his mouth. Oh yes the gob was there, but on top of talking all the time, he was cranky, moody and loud. He was not the same as the broody Doctor she first met, not the warrior. This man was narcissistic and annoying. One thing for sure, Rose was not having any fun. 

Rose went to the kitchen, put on a kettle for tea, then opened the fridge and surveyed the stacks of pre-prepared foods on the shelves. At least she never had to cook. Mr.Smith had insisted on having a chef provide his food. This was actually a relief for Rose. With the way he treated her he may have made her cook too. This job was demeaning enough, being a personal chef would only add to the issue. 

Mr. Smith… Since she eased the chameleon arch of his head and pulled him his flat and onto his bed, she had called him nothing else. It just didn’t feel right to call him John. Not with the relationship they had, and then again he had never corrected her and offered his first name. 

The flat was actually the top floor penthouse of a posh building. It took up the entire floor. Apart from a huge kitchen, it sported 5 bedrooms with ensuites, an expansive office, full workout room, an expansive living room and a utility room with an extra-large washer and dryer. The master bedroom and three of the guest rooms were off a hall near the living room. Rose’s room was smaller than the rest and down the hall by the utility room. At first Rose was upset by this. The room wasn’t as small as her room back at the estate by a long shot, but it was smaller than all the others. Soon she came to appreciate it though, because it was away from the normal traffic pattern of the flat. That way when Mr.Smith entertained she was rarely bothered. 

He had quickly acquired a raft of friends, followers really. Instant fame brought instant popularity and the crowd that was almost constantly around them when they were out were just like him. Rose referred to them in her head as “Cling-ons”. Today, at least for now though, they were alone. When he was the Doctor, Rose loved to spend time with him. He could entertain her for hours showing her things or just talking. Now, taking his breakfast sandwich out of the microwave, Rose dreaded encountering him again. Maybe she could just leave it for him and scoot out. 

Rose sighed and took the now completed tea and the sandwich on the plate towards his office. She could hear him typing away on the computer. More accurately he was slamming away on the keys with remarkable swiftness. He didn’t look up when she came in. Rose set the plate and the tea on the corner of his desk and started to back out. When he didn’t acknowledge her she turned to leave quietly letting out the breath she had been holding. 

“Rose!”

She froze in place. 

“I’ll need my tuxedo cleaned before tonight. I’ve been invited to a party, black tie.”

“But I have nothing on the schedule for you. I had the night off.”

He finally looked up at her, whipping off his glasses. “Well I do so you don’t. I want to leave at half seven. You’ll be driving.”

Rose’s shoulders slumped. “Fine, do you know how late you’ll be?”

“No.” 

Again Rose turned to leave just as Mr. Smith caught sight of his breakfast. 

“Oh brilliant these sandwiches are fabulous. Oh and tea in my favorite cup. I love you!”

And there they were, the three words that she wanted to hear the most. She longed to have them uttered by the Doctor for almost two years. But from Mr.Smith they were just that… words. He said them to her every day. In fact he said them to everyone every day. No one was spared, his friends, his editor, his publicist, his doorman. Those three simple words that he couldn’t utter before now came out all day long, and he had no idea that they felt like three gunshots to her chest every time they escaped his lips. 

Rose nodded, not facing him, and left the office, clicking the door closed behind her. 

John Smith grabbed his mug of tea and leaned back in his chair watching her leave, eyeing her thoughtfully before returning to his computer.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Rose was running late and she knew Mr. Smith would be mad. It wasn’t her fault, first she had to find his tuxedo, it was crumpled into the back corner of his closet, and then she had to drop it off at the cleaners, speak with the chef about next week’s food, confirm and pay the house cleaning, RSVP to three events, and return at least fourteen emails asking for appearances. All in all it was an exhausting day, and then it was to be capped off with a party she knew nothing about. Everything was supposed to go through her but sometimes someone would approach Mr. Smith separately. Being ever the charmer, at least to everyone but her, he would accept invitations and such, and not telling her until almost too late. Then there were the times that he didn’t tell her at all then berated her for not being ready. 

This was supposed to be her night off too. Rose had eagerly anticipated some time to herself. Specifically time to herself somewhere he couldn’t find her. She planned on having a glass of wine and reading a trashy novel, maybe even going through pictures she had collected of them together and re-confirming to herself that killing him outright would be bad. Three months… three months… the Family was like mayflies… they would only survive three months. Then everything could go back to normal. The Doctor would be his normal bouncy, exuberant, and kind self and they could go back to the intricate dance avoiding intimacy that was their norm. As twisted as that would have sounded to anyone else, Rose was desperate for it to return. 

The life she had now was not anything like the one she had just a month ago. The Doctor had always been at her side, enjoying adventures, running (or hopping) for their lives, hugging, holding hands, just being together. Now Rose was trapped in a life she outright hated with some damaged yet humanized version of the man she wanted to be with forever. It was as if all the negative parts of his personality were amplified. To the people he now called friends he was great fun, but Rose saw all of it. He never seemed to be happy with her or what she did. On the rare occasions he was, like this morning, she didn’t know how to react. The effect of this was that she had crawled into herself, hiding away and waiting until the real Doctor could come out. She knew this made her look bland and out of touch. It was a defense mechanism though, the less she was noticeable the less he could get after her. 

Never in her life had Rose ever wanted to melt into the background. Normally she would have stood up, fought back, took back what was hers or just outright left. But she had a job to do, she had to stay by him and keep him safe until it was time to open the fob watch. That required putting up with his shenanigans, no matter what the cost. If she had a misstep and was cast off anything could happen. So she stayed, gritting her teeth and plotting sweet revenge for when he was back. The big plan was for him to grovel then take her someplace where she would be treated like a princess for an amount of time to be determined based on the amount of suffering she incurred while caring for him. 

Rose smiled to herself, fueled by the thoughts of what she would get to do once her assignment was complete. Carefully she used her key card and hit the penthouse button on the elevator. Her arms were full with the tuxedo and various bags as well as her briefcase so it was tricky. When the doors opened into the main living space of the flat she stepped out, and was met with the steely glare of Mr. Smith, arms crossed, leaning on the back of the couch. 

“Where have you been? I said I wanted to leave at half seven and it’s already fifteen past!” I’ve been trying to call you and you haven’t even answered.”

“Sorry Mr.Smith, my mobile died an hour ago. But I had so many things to do.”

Her explanation did nothing to quell his anger. He hastily stepped up to her and nearly ripped his tuxedo out of her grasp, causing her to drop her briefcase, spilling its contents onto the floor. Not wanting to drop anything else, Rose just stood there trying to compensate. 

He turned and headed down the hall to his bedroom, yelling over his shoulder. “You need to be dressed and ready in fifteen. No excuses!”

Rose sagged. With a deep breath, she trudged towards the kitchen counter setting her load down. No time to sort it out now, she would have to tend to it later. She jogged back to her case on the ground, stuffed the papers back into it, and ran to her room to dress.

OoOoOoOoOo

One of the only good things about working for Mr.Smith was that Rose got a generous clothing budget. Since he insisted that she accompany him to the many events he had to do to, he wanted her to look good. In the six weeks so far she had been able to buy about fourteen different dresses and outfits to tailor to what he needed. The business attire was more conservative, but the night wear was short cut, and made to show off her curves. It was fun to dress up and go out, even though he never noticed and always abandoned her for other more interesting or more important party goers. If she was lucky she could sneak away to a back room or hall and pull out her laptop and work. Mr. Smith generated a huge amount of story for his second book every day. He expected her to edit it for grammar and send it to the editor for final review. The problem was that he left her little time, if any, to do it. Then the next day there would be more. 

Tonight she chose a simple little black dress, a string of pearls and black pumps. A quick swipe of mascara and a hasty up do for her hair completed the look. Admiring herself in the mirror she smiled, she cleaned up alright. If she had been with the real Doctor she knew that this look would have left him speechless, his mouth opening and closing like a fish. Rose turned to go and picked up her handbag. She sighed as she passed her bed which held the sweatpants and loose t-shirt she had planned on wearing that night. 

Quickly making her way to back to the living room she found it empty. Checking her watch she saw that it was 7:30 on the dot, but there was no sight of Mr. Smith. She had anticipated him being there tapping his foot and giving her “the look”. She assembled her bag again including her laptop, which she had thankfully had left behind while she was out today, or it may have been damaged when she dropped everything earlier. With any luck she could sneak away down a back hallway or something to sit alone and edit at the party. It was easy to escape once the champagne started to flow. Then, as the night wore on, he would either text her when he wanted to go or she would go find him and see if he was ready. 

Rose sat on the back of the couch and went about picking at her cuticles. She glanced down at her feet and noticed that she had a little smudge on her shoe. She stood and bent over, licking her thumb and rubbing the smudge when she heard halting footfalls behind her. Standing hastily she turned to face Mr.Smith, and then had to stifle a gasp. He looked amazing. He looked like him, the Doctor, including the Converse shoes and the smirk. Oh that smirk! Rose shook her head to clear her thoughts, but couldn’t help the blush that spread across her face. 

“Ready?” he asked, his face moving to a smile. She nodded and he motioned for her to lead on. 

Behind Rose, Mr. Smith had full view again of what made him smirk in the first place. Rose Tyler’s bum.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:  
> I really had fun with this story. One of my reviews was that my chapters were too short, and I decided that they actually were. So this one isn't super long, but my updates will be bigger in the future. Have fun with this one, it's an appetizer to a giant angst souffle I've got cooking.

Rose drove but oddly, this time, he sat in front. He never sat in front, choosing usually to sit in back, tell her where to go, comment if she hit a bump and yell if she was going too fast or too slow. This time he was still, only looking at his phone a couple of times. Otherwise they rode in silence, except for occasional directions. He looked relaxed, but Rose was white knuckled, waiting for the next barrage of remarks or insults. Remarkably they didn’t come. 

A few minutes after they started out, Mr. Smith started talking. “So I had an epiphany last night. I was thinking about that part in the second chapter where I have the tin dog shooting a laser out of his nose to distract the oncoming aliens. I didn’t want him to hurt anyone, but thought about letting him shoot a barrel of the acid. What do you think?”

“That sounds fine Mr. Smith,” answered Rose blandly. She knew this exchange. Before she could even get the words out he started talking again. He had been this way from the start. He just needed to get his thoughts out. It didn’t matter what she actually said. She could have responded with, ”I think you are on fire Mr. Smith, or watch out for that giant tortoise, Mr. Smith.” It wouldn’t have mattered. 

She steered his sleek black sedan into an area of high rise flats as instructed. Occasionally she would hire a limousine for some events, but tonight he obviously wanted her to drive. Mr. Smith directed her to a line of cars in front of a posh high rise. The cars were all waiting for valet parking. Rose winced. She had hoped she would be able to park somewhere quiet then earn some time pretending she had to park far away, especially since it was not a party that she had been made aware of through official channels. 

“Mr. Smith?” she started, causing him to raise his eyebrows at her. ”Do you think I can drop you at the door and just go park somewhere. You emailed me quite a bit of material to go over and I think I would be better served…”

He cut her off. “No you can’t, you’re my plus one.”

Rose balked. “You hadn’t said that until just now.”

“Didn’t I? But you are. You dressed and everything.”

“Oh but I always dress, just in case, but I don’t always go into the party. I figured if you don’t need me I could just…”

“No I need you. You can work later.” He looked at her as though that was the end of the conversation. Then, after a few more moments of awkward silence, the car only moving about 5 feet up in the line, he suddenly looked at her intently. “Why do you call me Mr. Smith? Have I not told you that you can call me John? Everyone else does. “

Rose paled. He actually hadn’t ever told her that she could call him John. They rarely spoke more than a few words to each other. A hundred words raced into her head all at once for an explanation. What she wanted to say was,”I don’t want to call you John because it doesn’t feel right to assign a simple human name to a 900 or so year old alien. Also by calling you Mr. Smith I can keep distance between us because since you’ve been here I have come to dislike you and I hope against hope that when we open that fob watch sitting in the drawer by my bed that you return to yourself. Because if you don’t, I don’t know if I can continue with you. I have never not liked you, but when you changed into a human you changed who you were and now I don’t like you.”

But what came out was,” No, you haven’t told me that.” 

“I didn’t? Hmm.“ That was that. He didn’t follow it up with anything. Rose groaned inwardly. She pulled the car up to the valet and handed the keys to the young man who opened her door. She quickly reached into the back seat and grabbed her case. It was a party after all and inevitable that she would be ditched as soon as he saw someone he knew.

Rose walked around the car with her bag over her shoulder. Mr. Smith looked her up and down from the carpet by the door, and much to her surprise, offered her his arm as she approached. Trying to not look shocked, she took it lightly. 

As they walked into the building, Mr. Smith looked down at his arm and her barely hanging on to it. He leaned in close and whispered, “Come on, I won’t bite. You look like you are about to run away. ”

The truth was that Rose was close to it. He had never, in the six weeks she had known this him, ever extended a hand or arm to her, and never purposefully brought her with him. This new attention he was paying to her was unnerving at best, especially since she knew what normally happened. It was also confusing. There had been nothing there, nothing at all. He had to have an ulterior motive. That was the only explanation. 

They rode the elevator to the top floor with two other couples, making small talk, well Mr. Smith did anyway. When the doors opened they were in a luxurious flat brilliantly decorated with rich colors and twinkling lights. Rose took it all in before she felt a tug on her arm. 

Mr. Smith led her into the main room and towards a large group of people. “John!” called a short, portly man Rose had come to know as Jeffery, his publicist from the publishers.”John do come here I would like you to meet your new stylist Sasha. It's her job to make sure you look good at all times.” He pulled a woman up to him. Mr. Smith stopped in his tracks and Rose felt his grip on her arm loosen then release. Sasha was moderately tall but that could have been due to the sky high pumps she was wearing. She wore a sparkly green dress that was tight in all the right places. Her hair was bright red and elegantly styled. She wore what looked like professionally done makeup and nails. The worst part by far was just how ‘perky’ she was. Rose stifled a giggle at just how big and gravity defying her breasts were. It was almost comical, at least to her. Everyone else though seemed to have no problem with it. On top of said breasts she had an enormous necklace adorned with huge gems. Her earrings were diamond chandelier type. The whole package looked as if she stepped right off the pages of Cosmo. It did sting though that the publisher had hired a stylist for him. Rose had thought she had done a pretty good job of keeping him looking OK. At least he didn't complain. 

Rose halted as John took hasty steps forward to the people and Sasha. He took a moment to kiss both of her cheeks then went about shaking of hands, giving hugs and kisses, for the whole group. During the flurry Rose saw her opportunity to escape. She only vaguely knew a couple of the people in the group and it was clear that Mr. Smith didn’t want her hanging on, so it was prime time to disappear. 

Looking back at the people animatedly saying hello, Rose saw a glimpse of the Doctor again. He was being his gregarious self, charming the women, and the men for that matter. Sasha had attached herself to him immediately taking Rose’s place. He was absorbed quickly amongst the people and Rose took steps backward, blending into the background. It had been interesting to her that he had held her arm all the way in, but as soon as he met up with friends he let go and was gone, leaving her to fend for herself. 

Rose turned and headed to one of the many tables laden with food, made herself a modest plate and found a place to sit near an enormous window. Outside she could see the lights of London and sat, remembering all the different places in her own city that they had had adventures both past present and future. Sitting there she couldn’t help but tear up a little. Rose wanted her Doctor back. At first she had told herself “It’s only 3 months, you can do anything for 3 months.” But now she wasn’t so sure. But she had to keep him safe, and she was 6 weeks in. Only 6 more to go. 

In addition to the publisher and Sasha, among the gathered people were Mr. Smith’s publicist, several literary agents, magazine reporters, and various starlets, TV personalities and socialites. He was the newest, hottest author and everyone wanted a piece of him. Truth be told, few had even read his book, but enough people had to make it a best seller and that was all it took.   
OoOoOoOoOoOo

After a round of greetings, John realized that the woman on his arm felt different from the one he had started with. He let go of Sasha then turned to introduce Rose to the group, but she had vanished. Where had that girl gone? She was always there, even though he just recently had realized it. Over the past week or so John had seen her, well everywhere. She did everything and no matter how cranky he was at any given time, she was there. Normally she had been sweet and nice as well as efficient. It wasn’t until she was noticeably perturbed at him that he actually saw her. 

It had come in the early morning after a late night. He had a chapter deadline to meet and had attended a late dinner with his publicist as well as some other people deemed important to him. He had gotten back just after midnight and the chapter was due to be emailed by 8am, but he still had some finishing touches to add. He ended up sending it to Rose at 3 am then fell into bed. She had been up too, as she was his ride. He actually thought that he should have hired a limo but Rose was there and he hadn’t really thought it through. 

In the morning his phone went off at eight, reminding him of the deadline. He checked his email and saw that there was nothing from Rose. He then raced out of his room, ready to get after her, only to find her at the breakfast bar, laptop open, head resting on her arm, fast asleep. She hadn’t even changed clothes. 

He poked her awake and she snorted, then jumped up, instantly in a panic. At first he had yelled at her for not meeting the deadline. She let him rant and stomp around for a full five minutes ending with, “Now what am I supposed to do Rose?”

Rose wiped her face and simply answered, ”I edited it, and since it only had a few grammatical errors, I sent it directly. I got a confirmation email at 7:15.”

"You did? Oh I LOVE YOU!"

Rose nodded at him and with that she closed her laptop, slipped out of the chair and wordlessly headed down the hall to her room. 

That morning had been the beginning, and he hadn’t wanted to take his eyes off her since. The problem was, as he saw it, she wanted nothing to do with him.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the beginning of the souffle. I'll post another chapter too for those of you, like me, who have a problem waiting.

For the hundredth, or maybe millionth time John Smith was surrounded by admirers. They always asked the same questions too, no matter the audience. “Where do you get your magnificent ideas?” or “Your imagination is astounding! How do you do it?” John answered with a combination with funny snarky remarks and the truth. Had he told everyone that in fact his stories came from his dreams and he just had to organize them into coherent plotlines they may have not believed him. Instead he chose to say, “Well I’m brilliant!” or “Oh I don’t know, they just shake out of my brain.”

Rose knew the truth though. His first book, the one everyone was all atwitter about, was a detailed account of their first encounter with the Slytheen. Since it was actual history that people would remember, it had been changed just enough so that no one could say he stole the story. Enough had also been changed so no one could identify him… or her for that matter. Though the Doctor did look a little like him. She, though, had been replaced by a buxom red head named Ginger. Rose hated it and planned on having words with the TARDIS when this was all over, though she thought it may be the TARDIS having a bit of fun at her expense. 

Mr. Smith was thoroughly convinced that the ideas came to him in his sleep. He kept a notebook by his bed detailing what he had dreamt about each night. He actually accused Rose of interfering though because she was interlaced in his dreams. She wanted more than anything to tell him. That she had actually been there, fighting along beside him, but it was no use. It would be too much information. 

After eating, Rose settled herself into the chair by the window and pulled out her laptop. She had to admit that Mr. Smith had an eloquent writing style even though the stories were borrowed from their lives. His descriptions of the scenery and characters were spot on, frequently taking Rose back to the time and event like she had never left. She did find it interesting though, that he was making the Ginger character a romantic coupling with the Doctor. Though they looked different, she and Ginger shared a lot of traits. Actually, she was basically Rose in another body. That was both lovely and frustrating to Rose. The character that was supposed to be her got to be with the Doctor and she didn’t, at least not yet. Of course it was worse now, stuck with this exaggerated version of him. Any relationship that they had had was in danger now. The wounds he doled out as Mr. Smith were starting to bleed into her vision of the Doctor. At first it was fun dreaming of revenge, but now it was getting sad. Though she tried diligently to not let it happen the two people were starting to dissolve into one another. Rose tried again and again to deflect any harm it may cause, but it was near impossible. He still wore the same face, had the same voice, but what was coming out was hurtful. She was afraid that eventually she wouldn’t be able to see the Doctor for what he truly was and the Mr. Smith would take over. 

As the evening wore on Rose actually was able to finish her editing work. She had been there for about two hours and when she was done, looked around for Mr. Smith. He was nowhere to be seen. A brief flash of panic crossed her mind. She scrambled to pick up her phone wondering is maybe he had tried to call and she hadn’t answered. He would berate her for sure if that was the case. She looked at her screen and let out a breath. It was blank save her normal background. 

She looked around the room. Normally Mr. Smith would have bothered her multiple times by now. She had heard him in the beginning, going back and forth with that Sasha lady. There had been a lot of laughter and a few squeals of "Oh John you are so funny." But in the last half hour or so there had been nothing. 

Usually there was some business to attend to for her, like someone would have needed him to go someplace and she would have scheduled it, or he needed her to email something to someone etc… The worst parties and such where the ones where he was bored. He would show up at her side and stand there like he wanted her to entertain him, and then complain like a little kid about being there, only to flit off as soon as something caught his eye. Usually he just came by her every now and then to have her talk to someone and schedule something. But on this night he hadn’t pulled any of his usual tricks. 

Rose checked her phone again for the time. It was nearly ten o'clock and she hadn't heard a peep out of him. Normally there was something even if it was an overly loud laugh or something. She packed her bag up and slung it over her shoulder to go look for him. If nothing else maybe she could go find the car and rest in there until he was done. 

Rose poked around the party for a few minutes without seeing him. Finally she approached Jeffery. "Excuse me Jeffery, have you seen Mr. Smith?"

Jeffery eyed her over his glasses. Without saying anything, he pointed to a hallway at the end of the room. It struck Rose as a bit odd, but maybe he was meeting with someone. 

And that he was. As Rose rounded the corner into the hall she was greeted with the image of Mr. Smith and Sasha talking VERY close to each other. At first glance she thought they may be kissing, but as she stood there, gaping, she could see that they in fact were not, but it looked like either they might be soon or had just finished. Sasha's arm was around his waist and his hands were splayed on her back. They both looked up when she appeared, John suddenly dropping his hands and reddening. 

Rose was the first to find words. "Oh, I'm so sorry Mr. Smith. I...I just wanted to see if you were ready to go. So, I'll just… go. Can you text me when you are ready?" Rose was quite impressed with her ability to form sentences given the situation. She turned on her heel as bile rose into her throat. 

"Rose wait," he called. 

Rose froze in place, not turning, not willing to take in the two of them in each other's arms again. 

John said something to Sasha quietly and Rose waited, not moving. "I'm ready to go now."

Sasha made a little whining noise and Rose could hear her whispering something in his ear. 

John stopped for a moment and Rose could feel the air get heavier still in the hall. 

"Uh, oh it seems that I owe Sasha here a nightcap. So if you don't mind taking us both...please?"

His "please" hit her like a blow to the stomach. He never said it before this. Not since he had been John Smith, why now?

"That's fine sir." She punctuated the last word. She heard a little squeak from him, like when he used to be trouble with her, but didn't turn back. Instead she just began walking out the door, got in the lift and went down to the valet. 

John and Sasha joined her at the car about 30 minutes later. She was sitting in the car at the curb chewing on her thumbnail and wishing they would hurry because otherwise she was liable to fall asleep at the wheel. The two emerged, her arm around his shoulders, which he flinched off as they approached. He did, though, open the back door for her and then slide in next to her. 

"Can we go out dancing John? Sasha asked in a whiney voice, to which Rose cringed and squeezed the wheel a little tighter. 

John paused for a moment, his eyes catching Rose's in the rear view mirror. "No not tonight, in fact I may not be much company for that drink. I get up very early you see, and I'm knackered."

He broke contact with Rose's eyes then. 

"Oh please Johnny?" I'm not done with my night yet, just one drink. I need to see your flat anyway to see what I can do for you there. I mean decoration wise." Rose could see her smirking at him in the mirror. 

"Ok just one drink, then I'll call you a taxi. Rose here turns into a pumpkin at midnight." 

Sasha snorted loudly at that. Rose turned her eyes to the road and pulled out, not sure if he had meant that as a nice way of getting her out of taking Sasha home or if it was thinly veiled insult about her need for sleep. Either way she needed to concentrate on getting them back to the flat so she could lock herself in her room and pray she wouldn't hear anything. 

On the way back Rose couldn't help but frequently look into the back seat in the mirror. To his credit, John kept his hands to himself, mainly working to get Sasha to stop crawling all over him. More than once their eyes met in the mirror. Rose maintained a professional and distant air despite her nearly uncontainable ire. John actually looked like he may not be having a good time. On a couple of occasions, he almost looked like he may be sorry, but then Sasha would say or do something that make him break eye contact with Rose. 

When they made it back to their building, Rose scurried around to the back of the car to get the door open, but John was ahead of her. "I've got it, thanks Rose." He then ushered Sasha out. Rose wasn't sure what he was up to. A please and a thank you in the same night? 

Rose pushed on the key fob locking the doors and led the others to the main lobby and the lifts. There she was greeted by the doorman Manny. He was about sixty years old and had a round, kind face. He was actually one bright spot that Rose looked forward to seeing on a daily basis. 

"Working late Manny?" she asked, approaching.

"Oh my sweet Miss Rose! Yes I traded off for tomorrow to be home for my dear wife's birthday." He took Rose's hand and lightly kissed her knuckles then he used his key card to summon a lift for them. 

"Oh can you tell Nelly happy birthday for me? I loved seeing your pictures of her and the grandchildren."

"Oh I will. Oh and she's making her famous banana bread this weekend. I'll be sure to bring you a piece."

"That would be lovely, thank you!" she answered, stepping into the lift. 

John had never observed Manny interact with Rose. He had actually not really noticed Manny at all. He raised his eyebrows at Rose in response to the exchange, but she had her eyes trained on the panel of buttons on the lift. Sasha had since snaked her arms around him again and was breathing into his ear. Her closeness was beginning to annoy him, and he moved her hands gently away. She wasn't his type anyway. But what was his type?

When the lift reached the penthouse, Rose practically bolted out of it. John and Sasha were a few paces behind her when Sasha stopped. "Oh well, this is ...quaint. I can see we have a lot of work to do before your big party John."

Rose, perturbed to say the least at the last comment, whirled around. "What party? We're not having a party here."

Sasha donned a saccharine smile and sashayed towards Rose, her spiked heels clicking annoyingly across the floor. "Oh didn't he tell you? John has arranged to have about one hundred of his closest friends come over next week for a preview of book two. It's going to be delightful. I'm having my people come over tomorrow to see how we can... spruce it up a little in here. You know, make it more modern. Right now it's a little, oh I don't know, plain? What do you think John?"

John stood there stunned. No one ever had interacted with Rose like this in his current memory. Rose had helped him furnish this place and he liked it. It was cozy and comfortable. He really liked the deep blues she seemed to always choose. They were comforting to him. "I rather like what she has done..."

Sasha cut him off. "Well that shows that you are a man. Anyway, I'll get my crew to come round in the morning. So, John, I believe you owe me a nightcap."

Rose swallowed down a scream. She clenched her fist around the strap of her bag and turned quickly towards her room, literally biting off the words that had rushed to her mouth. She could feel John's eyes on her as she left but didn't want to turn around for fear of letting her true feelings be known. 

"Oh John, are you joining me?" Sasha sing-songed from the liquor cabinet.

John had been standing open mouthed in the living room. Suddenly he felt a strong urge to go to her...to Rose, but he wasn't entirely sure why. Maybe it was because she was his assistant and he felt like he was the only one who could tell her things, but maybe there was another reason. He shook his head and joined Sasha. 

Rose got into her room and set her bag down carefully, then went about throwing her shoes across the room. It actually felt good that she connected with a mirror and chipped it. How could he take up with such a floozy? What did Sasha have that she didn't? Rose had never seen him be so close with someone except. Oh wait... Reinette. Rose slumped on the bed. This was not the first time he'd been with someone else. He swore he didn't do anything with Reinette, but Rose always had a nagging feeling that it hadn't been the case. Now here he was again, and this time it was more blatant. Plus John was much more open than the Doctor. For all she knew they could be shagging on the kitchen table right now.

Rose grabbed a pillow and screamed into it, something that seemed to be happening more often now. When she pulled it away she could see that her mascara left marks on the case. Maybe a shower was in order; at least if she had crying to do, no one could hear her. With that she got up, undressed and stepped into her ensuite. Maybe the warm shower water would wash away her anger, at least it may help.

In the kitchen, Sasha was working her magic. She had convinced John to make whiskey sours for them and was encouraging him to have a second one. She had moved them to the couch where she was currently playing with his hair.

John though, was suddenly strangely silent, and not reacting. 

"John? What's happening, you seem distant all of a sudden. Are you getting a new idea for one of your brilliant stories?"

John turned to her and lifted her hands out of his hair. "Sasha, can I ask you something?" She nodded, sliding in a little closer to him. "Have you actually read my first book?"

"Well John I... I mean I've read the summaries and it sounds fantastic. I really don't have much time to read though. You know in my line of work." 

"So how do you know I'm brilliant?"

"Well it's evident in... you know... you." She beamed a giant smile at him, but he could tell she was faltering by how it stopped just below her eyes.

John sat up, setting his drink on the table. Then he stood and offered Sasha his hand. She looked up at him, her smile moving from friendly to seductive. When she stood she reached for him. But John took a step back. 

"I'll ring down to...ah... Manny, and get you a cab. I'll wait for your team in the morning. I have things to do here so I should be here for most of the morning."

"Is it something I said John?" Sasha asked, visibly pouting. 

"No, erm, I just need to focus now, and I'm quite knackered. Rose keeps me on a tight schedule and I have to be up early. Thank you for a lovely night though." As he talked he headed over to the lift and pushed the button. When the doors opened he ushered her inside and pressed the button for the ground floor. "Good night Sasha."

The doors closed on Sasha, still stunned into silence.

John leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. That was weird. A beautiful woman came onto him in his own house and he stopped it. That wasn't like him, or was it? Thinking back he only had vague memories of women in his past. For some reason Rose seemed to be one of them. Or maybe it was just a dream, the one he kept having. John wiped his face with his hand then remembered and made a quick call downstairs saying that he would pay for a taxi. When he was done, he heaved a sigh. The whiskey sat in his stomach like a rock, even though he had only had one small swallow of it. He then left for his bedroom, leaving the two glasses where they had left them.


	5. Chapter 5

Rose couldn't sleep. When she closed her eyes, all she could see was Reinette and Sasha swimming into view. She flipped and flopped for hours until she decided to get up and get something to eat, maybe it would settle her down. 

She pulled on her comfy sweat pants and oversized hoody, and not bothering to run her fingers through her hair or anything, headed to the kitchen. When she rounded the corner, eyes still adjusting to the light, she nearly ran into John, standing there only in his boxer shorts, drinking directly from a juice carton. 

"D-J-Mr. Smith I'm so sorry to bother you, I was just... just... where's um... Sasha?"

He eyed her carefully, hair all mussed like she had gone to sleep with it wet, sweat pants and hoody wearing her more than she was wearing them. "She had to go."

"Oh." answered Rose, not moving. She painfully tried to drag her eyes off him. But she hadn't seen this much skin since Christmas and that was a really long time ago. Plus her Mum had been helping she hadn't gotten a good look. Now, however, it was all there. He unabashedly leaned back on the counter, not embarrassed at all about wearing next to nothing. He actually lifted the carton again and took a long drink. 

Rose forced her eyes to the floor, unsure what to do next. 

"Why are you up Rose?" he asked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. 

"I just couldn't sleep. I'll just... um sorry to disturb you Mr. Smith. I'm gonna..." She pointed with her thumb over her shoulder. She was visibly reddening and retreat seemed the only option. 

"Do you want something to eat?"

"No, thanks... but... I have to ... go." Rose took two steps back and flipped around, hastily walking back down her hall. He must have been getting a post-sex snack, she mused. Why did she come out there? She felt a sudden rush of nausea, at the same time her ears started to ring loudly coupled with tears stinging her eyes. How in the world could she ever be “the one” when he found someone new at every turn? He stood there so confidently in front of her, almost boasting aloud what he had just done. 

Rose hurried past her bedroom door and kept going into the utility room. 

Back in the kitchen, John wasn't sure what had just happened. Had she not heard that Sasha left? Oh... she thought that... John stiffened. He called down the hall, “I didn't have sex with Sasha, Rose... Rose?"

It was too late, Rose was much farther down the hall now and pulling open a particularly large cabinet door and stepping inside. 

OoOoOoOoOoOo

The TARDIS hummed as Rose ran in, closing the door carefully behind her. Hot, angry tears streamed down her face and she wiped them off fiercely. She stormed to the console and leaned on it, mad at herself for crying in the first place. Who was he to start up with that floozy? Rose punched the edge of the console and instantly regretted it. 

“OWW!” she yelled, much too loud for the actual injury. Then she yelled out again in sheer aggravation. “AAARRRGG!” It just felt good to get it out. She had to be so reserved in her normal interactions, and holding it in was no longer an option. Who was this guy? It was like all the things he restrained himself from in his normal body he embraced now. Sure, he had always said he was rude, but not really. He never said things that hurt her or forced her to do anything she didn’t want to. But John, he did all those things. When she had agreed to watch over him for three months she had thought it might be fun to encounter a human version of him. That was before she met him. He seemed to be escalating too. Not with being mean per se, but the leering. It was not lost on her that he looked at her frequently. She found it unsettling. 

Rose approached the monitor and pushed a button on the console next to a knob. It was a button she knew well, the one that played the instructions. She had seen them many times, at first to make sure she got everything, and then all the other times to hear him, the real him, talking to her. He looked right into the camera like he was looking into her eyes. It felt good to see him again, briefly being able to shut out the other him who was waiting not-so-patiently for her elsewhere in the flat. 

The Doctor’s image appeared on the screen. Rose grinned at the familiar sight. She put her fingers on the monitor. She’d missed him. 

She adjusted the volume as the image started to speak. “One: Don’t let me hurt anyone...” she turned the knob to skip ahead. “Four… no three: No getting involved in big historical events. Four: You, don’t let me abandon you. “ Rose paused the playback and sighed, then started it again. “Five, very important five... Don’t let me eat pears! I hate pears. John Smith is a made up character but I won’t know that. I’ll think I am him and he might do something stupid like eat a pear. In three months I don’t want to wake up from being human and taste that. “

Rose laughed out loud and made a mental note to go buy pears... lots and lots of pears. 

She twisted the nob again, letting it run for a few seconds before stopping it. She then sat up on the jump seat, eyes on the screen. “23: If anything goes wrong, it they find us, Rose then you know what to do…” Rose hopped up and stopped it again. There he was, the kind man who had brought her here, replaced now by a pompous, annoying man who she truly hated. The video helped remind her of who he really was. Without it, it would be hard to remember why she was in the situation she was in. Being meek and taking the abuse was not in her nature. All joking about revenge aside, it hurt. It was in those moments, when he had said or done something that cut deep, that she wondered. What if this personality was what he really was? What if it was him coming out? What is he truly didn’t like her and he had just been playing along?

But why? It didn’t fit. He was so genuine, loving really, most of the time. They held hands, hugged, even snuggled from time to time. This was all so confusing. She wondered if after it was all over he would be back to normal. And if he was, would she be able to go back? Would the wounds he inflicted as John Smith be too deep to continue? Looking at his face on the screen helped. She needed to remember who he was. When it was all over, they were going to have to have a major talk, even if she had to tie him to a chair. If nothing else he had to know that he needed to give her a chance to recover a little. 

Rose curled up on the jumpseat. The hum of the TARDIS, even on standby, was comforting. Before she knew it, she fell into an exhausted, dreamless sleep. 

OoOoOoOoO  
A gentle pulsing hum enveloped Rose as she slept. It was the crick in her neck that woke her. Realization of where she was crept in and she sat up with a start, having to grab the back of the seat to keep from falling onto the grating. She looked around momentarily panicked. How long had she slept? Jumping to her feet, and then swaying a little to get her balance, she rushed to the door. Carefully the listened then pushed it open. Had anyone opened the cupboard by accident they would have been met with racks of old towels. The perception filter in place this time was excellent. The TARDIS was tucked away within feet of her bedroom. 

Rose could visit as frequently as she wanted. She went in as frequently as she could, but it wasn’t nearly enough to calm her frazzled nerves. In a perfect situation she could have left John to his own devices and lived in there alone for the three months. There was plenty to do in there, but instead she had to play nursemaid to a childish man. 

Her room was just down the hall and she went in, deciding that a shower was in order. Maybe it would relieve the pains in her neck from sleeping wrong. 

After said shower and an extremely minimal amount of primping, Rose emerged. She hadn’t heard a peep out of John, which was odd. Maybe he had gone out. That would be the best situation and she could have her coffee in peace for once while getting some work done. While putting on her shoes, Rose glanced over to the bedside table. She leaned over and opened the drawer, withdrawing the pocket watch that she had stuffed into a sock for safe keeping. Pulling it out, the turned it over in her hands. Its design was the familiar swirls of Gallifreyan script. It was writing that was not translated by the TARDIS, but beautiful anyway. 

There was a bang sound down the hall that she could hear even with the door shut. Well at least she knew where John was. Rose carefully slid the watch back in its fuzzy home and back into the drawer. 

She stood, steeled herself, grabbed her laptop bag and scrubbing any expression from her face, like armor, and headed out to face him. 

Upon entering the living room, she was greeted with the sight of John sitting on the floor, surrounded with piles of his first book. He looked up at her and smiled brightly. “Oh there you are! I thought you disappeared on me. Do you think you can help me with these books? I have to sign them for a charity function; Jeffery dropped them off this morning.” 

Rose quirked an eyebrow. “How did that happen? I didn’t hear anything.”

“Oh he says he rang your mobile earlier, but you didn’t pick up. It’s a last minute thing. When you didn’t answer, he just had them delivered. I made coffee and there are muffins if you want.”

Rose’s mouth hung open. Who was this sitting in front of her? Had the Doctor come back? No way. She still had the watch. Most of all he would have announced himself. She realized she must look weird to him and consciously closed her mouth. Then thinking again said, ”Um thanks I’ll just… um…” Not knowing what to say she retreated to the kitchen where she indeed found fresh coffee and a basket of muffins. The muffins had a tag on them from a local shop. He must have called for them this morning. His abrupt change was baffling. Rose shook her head a little while pouring herself a mug and adding cream. 

Still not sure how to take what was going on; Rose took a seat in the breakfast area. She should open her laptop and start working, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him. He looked different. He was taking one book at a time off the pile, scribbling in it then adding it to yet another stack. But for once he didn’t look grumpy. He also didn’t yell at her when she came in or tell her to do anything. And he got muffins! She shook her head. She couldn’t just accept this recent change as normal. Maybe this was just a brief respite. Maybe a good mood after he had been with that woman. She shook her head again, trying to clear the thought. 

“Rose?” She looked up to see John peering at her over a stack of books. 

“Yes Mr. Smith?” she replied, pouring on the fake sweetness she didn’t feel.

“Are you alright? It looks like is something wrong.”

“No sir, just eating.”

John regarded her again, this time with softer eyes than he ever had before. “Oh, well when you are done, do you mind joining me? This has turned out to be more than I expected and the courier is coming over in an hour to pick them back up.”

Rose nodded, and tossed the rest of her muffin in the bin. It tasted good, but wasn’t going down like it should have. She must still have a little stomach upset from yesterday. 

Rose shivered a little while she was walking over to join him. She could feel his eyes on her. It was like waiting for the other shoe to drop. He was being strangely quiet and well, nice. Under normal situations, healthy teasing and lively conversations were the norm, but not lately, not since John had arrived. She idly wondered how long it would take to get comfortable with him again once this was all over. 

When she got up near him he motioned to a place on the rug for her to sit. “Are you sure you’re alright? You look a little freaked out and didn’t finish your breakfast.” he asked.

Still stunned she managed to cobble together an answer. “Uh yeah, I’m fine…thanks.”

“Ok then.” He grinned again and she inwardly cringed. ”This is the pile of books to sign. Just write it like this.” He opened a book and handed it to her. Written in barely legible script was, “Keep searching! John Smith.”

“Keep searching?” she asked. 

“Yeah, I thought that was cool and edgy. Don’t you think? It’s like telling them to keep looking to the stars, or for alien life, or for answers. You know… “

“And you want me to write what you did? Isn’t that forging? “

“Yeah but not really. Everyone does it. It’s not like you are signing a check. Well you do that anyway, but this is for charity.”

Rose thought for a moment. It wasn’t like any of this was real. When they were gone they would be gone. “Alright, where do I start?" John tossed Rose a pen and she did her best to copy what he had written and how he had written it. Meanwhile he babbled. He wasn't talking about anything in particular, some story ideas, things he saw etc. Rose couldn't help but think about their time on the TARDIS. She had liked those times when he was doing repairs and she would sit close and listen as he went on and on. It was comforting and more than once she found herself getting heavy lidded, or actually dosing off. He never minded though. It was like his brain just needed to go and she let it. He didn't ask for her to answer him either. The difference was that in the TARDIS she was comfortable and liked to be with him. Now was a different story. Rose was making inroads into her pile then looking at what was remaining and dreading it. His constant voice was soothing though, allowing her to get into a rhythm of signing and stacking. 

Before she knew it though, the noise stopped. Rose looked up. John had reclined, his back resting on the bottom of the sofa. He was eyeing her again. 

This time it was Rose's turn to ask. "Is there something wrong Mr. Smith? Am I doing this incorrectly?"

"No, no, I'm just taking a break. But I have a question for you... well several." Rose nodded, truly worried about what was coming. 

John tugged at his ear, a sign Rose had come to know as him being nervous. What did he have to be nervous about? "First, I've already asked you why you call me Mr. Smith, but I also noticed that sometimes you stutter my name. It's only when you are flustered or I surprise you.”

"I-I don't know. I haven't really noticed." She had. She had actually shouted out Doctor more than once, but he hadn't heard her. That was actually a bit of relief for her. The Doctor was the hero in his books. So it would have been really odd had he made the connection. Her thumb migrated to her mouth and she began to chew the nail.

"But you start saying something with a D sound. I would think you were starting to say 'Doctor' like the character in my book, but that would be weird. What are you saying?"

"It must just be one of those things, I don't know. I guess you remind me of someone.” Feigning ignorance was getting harder. If he kept up, she may run out of excuses. 

“Whoever it is, is he as annoying as me? “

Rose laughed out loud. It was impossible not to. She quickly put her hand over her mouth, but not before she caught the look on his face. He grinned widely at the noise and then laughed himself. The sound of him calmed Rose initially, but then she realized it was not the laugh of the man she laughed with all the time. Rose cast her eyes down at her lap and fiddled with her pen. 

John then steepled his fingers in front of his mouth in thought. Rose was hoping he was done and picked up another book to sign. 

"Rose, I have another question. Would you..." At that moment he was cut off by the loud ringing of his mobile. They both jumped, Rose almost marring the page she was about to write on. He smiled at her sheepishly and dug out his phone, standing up. 

Wait, he smiled at her again, this one was sweeter, embarrassed almost. It wasn't as if she hadn't seen him smile since he had been turned into a human. It was just not usually aimed at her. Where had John Smith gone? Not knowing why he was acting this way was almost more unnerving than the annoying John. 

She watched him as he animatedly talked on the phone. "Oh really? He's here? Where? Oh I've always wanted to meet him." John snatched his keys from a hook near the lift doors, pushing the button. "Can you introduce us? Oh that would be brilliant! I Love You! Ok I'll be there..." The last of the sentence was cut off by the closing of the lift doors. Well at least she found John. He showed back up as soon as his phone rang. Rose sat back and sighed, looking at the stacks of unsigned books. There were at least fifty left and as she calculated it, she had about ten minutes before the courier arrived. And oh, Sasha's "people" were supposed to come over to show her just how bad her decorating was.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author's Notes:  
> Hmmm, what exactly is John up to? I'm afraid all I have is more questions. There are definitely storm clouds brewing though, big ones. Thanks for the nice reviews too!

Rose finished with the books just in time for the courier to pick them up. Then shortly thereafter Sasha’s people showed up. They measured and threw around fabric swatches and took loads of pictures. Rose hovered at the kitchen table and watched. John hadn’t come back after he had hastily left, so Rose actually had time to work without him. She was delighted to see that Sasha did not accompany her workers. She thought for sure she would be here looking for John. She laughed inwardly at the thought of him having a stylist, especially when she thought back to what he told her that he used to wear. For the two versions of him she had known it hadn’t been that bad, quirky maybe, but not garish or flamboyant. If she had to rate them though, the leather jacket and black jeans was pretty hot compared to the striped suit, but then of course one had to think about how the bum looked in the striped pants. All in all, both packages had been nice. 

John came back hours later but was on the phone when he arrived. He went right into his office and closed the door, not engaging her. He did, however, shoot her a sideways glance that looked a little guilty. But that may have just been her interpretation. He didn’t engage her in conversation or anything so she ate alone and turned in early, the stress of the past few days wearing thin on her. After checking the watch and reading a few chapters in her admittedly trashy novel, she fell into a deep sleep.

At around two thirty in the morning Rose’s bedroom door slammed open and John bounded in, landing on her bed. “Rose! ROSE wake up! You have to hear the glorious idea I had!”

Rose was momentarily startled, but realizing what was happening, sat up and pushed the hair out of her face. When he was his normal time lord self he did this frequently. Usually to tell her about something he had discovered or a new place he found to go. In those instances he would look at her confused, then realize that he disturbed her, tell her what he wanted, hug her, then bound off, letting her get back to sleep. Sometimes he would climb in bed with her and just talk, lulling her to sleep. It was nice having him close. But never too close. He always gave her space, even if she had perhaps wanted him to be closer. 

This time though, it was John. Rose didn’t know what to expect. This could be the new nicer version, or the old surly one. Though after today she was convinced the new one was just a freak event. 

John was bouncing slightly on the bed looking at her expectedly. “Are you awake?”

“Yes Mr. Smith.” Her voice was gravely and slurred with sleep. She cleared her throat to try to make it better with little success. 

“Ok, well I was thinking about having the Doctor travel to a planet where the dogs have no noses! What do you think about that?”

Rose could not contain her frustration. “You woke me up to tell me about an alien from your new book?”

“Yes. Of course. I mean I thought you would like to know. And technically they aren’t aliens, because they are on their own planet, and the Doctor is visiting. I just thought it was fun and I thought I would share it.”

Rose glanced at the clock. “At half 2 in the morning? What possessed you to come in now? You’ve never even been in here before.”

“I thought you would like to hear. I mean yeah.” He looked around the room, surveying the clothes lying about, his eyes finally landing on her. She was in a loose t-shirt that hung low on her chest, revealing the very tops of her breasts. She clearly wasn’t wearing a bra either. At that moment he blushed fiercely. Rose, in the contrary, blanched. She quickly crossed her harms over her chest. 

“Can’t we do this in the morning, I mean I was sleeping.” Rose’s voice was strong now, fully awake. 

John looked affronted. “You are my assistant and I thought you should know.”

“Mr. Smith, I was just …”

“WHY DON’T YOU CALL ME JOHN?” he yelled. Rose sat back hard, striking her head on the headboard. 

She took a deep breath and sat up again, freeing a hand to rub her head. “So you may not have realized this, but waking someone to tell them something inane is rude. Very rude. In fact you are nothing but rude to me, cutting me down, putting me in awkward situations, springing things on me without regard for anything I may need to do. You have total disregard for me and I take it. Also, you disturb my sleep all the time, by waking me, making me stay out late or by bringing home someone to… do whatever with. And I don’t call you John because I don’t think we are on a personal level enough to do it.”

John just looked at her and swallowed. She had never lashed out like this. She had never put him in his place or called him out. It was… intoxicating. Part of the reason he poked at her so much was to try to get a reaction out of her. Now here she was practically yelling at him. 

All he could think to do at that moment was to let her know the truth. When he spoke, his voice was low. “I didn’t sleep with Sasha. Heaven knows she tried, but I didn’t. I thought you should know.”

“I actually don’t care. You live your life.“ Rose was clearly affronted by the whole situation. Now besides being half naked, her cranky boss sitting on her bed waking her from the first restful sleep she had had in days, she was done with his shenanigans. She wouldn’t let him take any more from her. 

To her utter surprise, John looked as if he had been slapped. He stood slowly, his eyes locked to hers. He backed towards the door, not looking away. What he said next completely stunned her. 

“I’d like you to call me John please.” Then he turned and walked out, closing the door quietly behind him. 

After John's intrusion, Rose took at least an hour to calm down again. What was he after? Why did he think she needed to know that he hadn't been with Sasha? All of a sudden he was interested in her. But was he possibly INTERESTED? When he was a Timelord, it had been nearly impossible to read him. He would get very close then suddenly run off in a completely different direction. But if she remembered back, back to when she was in the courting process with human men, this was normal. With Mickey, and even Jimmy, and a handful of boys in school, it always started very much the same. First came little gestures of kindness, accompanied with showing up here and there, trying to get her attention. 

This couldn't be. Sure, John was technically the Doctor, but not at the same time. In a few weeks the real Doctor would be back, and it was clear what his intentions or, lack of intentions were rather. However fun it may be to start up with John, to act on what she had wanted to act on with the Doctor, it was wrong. If she had actually been with the Doctor, wouldn't that be cheating? If she did decide to be with John, what would be the ramifications when he changed back?   
Surely the Doctor would be horrified. He may even think Rose was taking advantage of him. No, she needed to keep John away. The Doctor would be embarrassed enough when he changed back, knowing how poorly he had treated her. If she added the fact that they had a relationship, he may not be able to handle it. Hopefully her reaction tonight, well this morning, would keep him at bay. It was only what... another 6 weeks?   
OoOoOooo  
Rose woke at the sound of her alarm several hours later. She showered and dressed as usual, hoping that John would be in his office or gone. She actually had quite a bit to do today. First she had to secure a caterer for the party next week, schedule a cleaning crew for before and after, figure out if he wanted live music or a DJ, and arrange for flowers, a place for the presentation, a bar, a valet. The list went on and on. Then there was the daunting task of dealing with Sasha. Rose was sure that she would want a hand in the planning for fear Rose may plan to have non-fashionable food or something horrifying like that. 

The living room was clear and John's office was empty as Rose entered the main part of the flat. But, much to her dismay, John was seated at the breakfast table staring at his computer and scowling. He lifted his head as she approached. "Good morning Rose."

"Good morning Mr....John. Did you sleep well?"

John raised an eyebrow. "Well, you're halfway there." he responded, referring to the 'Mr.John'.

Rose turned into the kitchen and saw that he had made coffee again, and had a mug sitting by the carafe. Seeing that he had his own mug next to him she figured the second was for her. 

Rose joined him at the table after microwaving a breakfast sandwich and retrieving her own laptop. 

After a few minutes of relatively uncomfortable silence John spoke. "So we have a lot to do before the party. I'm sorry it all got sprung on you. Sometimes things happen fast. I forgot to inform you."

His tone was different than it was even two days ago. He sounded much more casual. He looked at her, his glasses balanced on his nose. He wasn't smiling exactly, but his face was softer. She leaned over and pulled a pad of paper from her computer bag at her feet and handed it over to him.

"This is a list if everything I have come up with that needs to happen, including some things we need to talk over and decisions to be made. I'm assuming that the Jeffery will be working on the guest list. I will need to know the numbers though, to arrange for the caterer, bar and valet."

John smiled. "Wow you put a lot of work into something that I only surprised you with. I'm impressed." Rose blushed at the compliment, it actually was the first one ever, from John at least. 

She smiled shyly. 

He took another breath. "I also am sorry for waking you last night. It's inexcusable to intrude on you like that. You have your own life and I need to respect that."

Rose was too stunned to even note the second ever apology. She gaped at him, consciously having to shut her mouth. He was really trying, wasn't he? She didn't know whether to be grateful or scared. 

Finally, after much too long she answered. "Uh thank you. I'm OK, I just have a lot to do." She knew that her reaction was not anywhere near appropriate, but she was at a complete loss. 

He nodded. "I should have another chapter for you today to read. Then I suppose we should go over some of the party things. Sasha has been texting me all morning to collaborate on some things, but I wanted to talk to you first.”

"No problem. I have some time now if you want." Rose felt like she hadn't given him anything for all the effort he was making and it was time to throw him a bone. 

He smiled. "Brilliant! So what do you have so far? He pulled his chair around next to hers, well actually until they touched. She started to pull up the various websites of the businesses she planned to use. He leaned in when she did, his glasses in place, his arm grazing hers. Rose's heart leapt. It had been weeks since he had touched her. It was nice having him close, but at the same time it was disconcerting. There was nothing more that she wanted to do at that moment but take his hand in hers. And by the way his hand seemed to be inching towards hers he seemed like he wanted the same. 

She tried had to focus but it was nearly impossible due to his proximity. 

When he was this close she could smell him. Even as a human he smelled the same; a little spicy and a little sweet. On top of that was the great antiperspirant she had gotten him. Then another thought occurred to her. Some of his attractiveness, how he looked, dressed etc., were due to her. She had made him this way by buying the clothes and products. Maybe subconsciously he was getting him what she wanted him to have. There again was another problem. She couldn’t have him. She remembered that and carefully moved her chair over, increasing the distance between them. 

That's when Rose noticed the pause. He had stopped talking and was staring at her. "What?" she asked.

"I asked you a question. Where did you go?"

"I don't know, I suppose I just checked out for a moment. Sorry, I just have a lot running around in here." She indicated her head. 

"OK, well can you focus for a while longer? I need to meet up with Sasha."

"Sure." Rose launched into the plans with John. He changed a few things, added a few more, but generally worked with her rather than ordering. It was a refreshing change. Rose could tell that he was trying. He had to catch himself several times, or start a sentence, notice it was going to come out wrong, stop and re-start. To Rose, this nice new John was welcome. It was like having her Doctor back, at least a little. She couldn't help but think though, was this nice John here to stay? Another question was if his good mood would extend to the others he was cranky with. I remained to be seen, but a girl could hope. 

Soon John's phone rang, pulling him away. It was Sasha. He launched onto a discussion with her about the party, and Rose could tell that she was already changing things. She grumbled internally. Instead of getting increasingly annoyed she checked her email. Sure enough there was a chapter to read from John. This one however, had a note attached. 

"Rose, please read the following and get it back to me as soon as possible. I would also like your take on the first chapter again. It will be the one I read to the people who come to our party next week. Make sure it has enough exposition with it please, because I have come to find out that many of my followers are not big readers.   
Thanks, John."

Wait,"our" party? Where had that come from? Rose filed that away too. There certainly was a lot of filing happening today. She delved into the new chapter and from line one could notice a change. First, it had a lighter feeling to it and there was humor. Second, he talked about the companion… a lot. He described her more, but not physically. He explained her mannerisms; spoke to her kindness and how she was always there for the Doctor. Rose literally got chills reading it. It was as if he was describing her. She shook that off after she finished and went to reviewing the first chapter again. She made a few notes on it about things he could expound on and sent the lot back to him.


	7. Chapter 7

The following days were a blur of preparations on top of everything else, John had to fly from London to Paris for interviews. Unfortunately for Rose there was too much to do and she could not go. It was hard to let him go, given that she was supposed to be watching him, but there wasn’t much trouble he could get into, or so she hoped. If she would have forces herself to be with him it would have raised more questions than not. Plus it was a 24 hour turnaround trip and he would be accompanied by Jeffery from the publishers.

At least Sasha wasn’t going. That was because she was at the flat on and off for days. A whole new compliment of furniture had been brought in for the party. Sasha assured Rose that “some” of the previous furnishings would return after the party but Rose was unconvinced. Now there were new window dressings, many new chairs, tables, a new sofa, and new light fixtures throughout. Rose personally added a padlock to the cabinet containing the TARDIS just in case, as well as a deadbolt on her bedroom door. 

Finally on the evening John was to return from Paris, Sasha finished redecorating. On top of what she did to the flat, she ordered new clothes for John after going through his closet and donating most of it to charity. Rose was able to grab out a few things before she did though, a pair of exceptionally fitting jeans and two of her favorite t-shirts. Even if she couldn’t have him she loved how he looked in the casual clothes and at least she could look at his butt from time to time. 

Much to Rose's dismay, Sasha waited around the flat for John. Luckily, his flight was delayed due to weather and she had to leave for an appointment. Rose wondered what she could have to do at nine o’clock at night, but not enough to ask. She was happy though, that they were in the storm too and purposefully didn't offer Sasha an umbrella. 

The flat was quiet except for the rain hitting the windows as Rose a waited for her boss to return. He was about an hour or so out still. He didn’t tell her when he would be back exactly, so she opted to indulge herself. She ordered delivery Italian food and opened a cheap bottle of red wine. She couldn't decide between the vegetable lasagna and the chicken parmesan, so she ordered both. It was possible John may want some too when he got back anyway. With the garlic bread and salad it turned out to be quite a meal. 

Just as the food arrived the lights went out. She turned on the light on her mobile and payed the delivery man in cash along with a huge tip because he now had to go down the stairs rather than the elevator. 

Rose put the food on the kitchen counter and found some candles to light. Even though Rose considered Sasha's decorating gaudy and flamboyant, it looked pretty good in the candlelight. She pulled a little coffee table over in front of the window and sat on the floor to enjoy the storm and eat. Before long Rose found herself reminiscing about her time with the Doctor. It was in these quiet moments that there relationship spoke the loudest. She missed their conversations about everything and nothing. He would have loved this, sitting and watching the rain. She could almost hear him telling her about how the storm was formed an what it would do, then going off on a tangent about being on a planet where it rained all the time or not at all. 

So lost in thought was she that she didn't hear the door to the stairwell opening.

John staggered in, sweaty from climbing all the stairs but stopped short. The flat was mostly dark save for the ten or so glowing candles scattered about. He looked around, it was decorated differently, and for a moment he thought maybe he was in the wrong flat. That was until he caught sight of the woman, now standing at the window, silhouetted in the flash of lightning outside. She was a vision. She wore simple clothes, but they accentuated her curves. Just jeans and a t-shirt, but they did the trick. Her hair fell gently on her shoulders in slightly messy curls. John took in a breath. Rose was perfect. Too bad so far she had cast him off. Maybe, though, there was a chance. 

Silently he stepped up behind her. She must have been completely lost in thought not to have noticed him. When he was inches away he uttered, "Can I join you?"

Rose squeaked and nearly dropped her wine. She wore a horrified expression; it was equally scared and confused. 

He jumped back. "I'm so sorry Rose; I guess you didn't hear me come in. I didn't mean to disturb you. "

Rose still wore she same expression as she looked him up and down. Then something seemed to occur to her, and her face relaxed. "I'm sorry too Mr... oh I mean John. I was just thinking."

"About anything in particular?"

Rose eyed him again. "Are you hungry? I ordered a lot of food. There's plenty. I can open a bottle of wine too if you want. I just opened a cheap one, but you have much better ones in the wine refrigerator.” As she was talking, she swiftly walked to the kitchen and began reopening the food. John, however, stood rooted on the spot by the window. From his vantage point, it looked like Rose was beating a hasty retreat. 

"Sure food would be great, I didn't eat yet. But you needn't open new wine, the cheap stuff, as you say, will be fine." He fixed her with a warm smile, hoping to put her at ease. 

It didn't work, him being charming only put Rose further on edge. He looked so cute, hair flat from the rain, his fringe resting on his forehead. That was the problem. Trying not to react to him was getting harder. She wished he would just be an arse like before so she could justify not liking him again. 

While Rose made him a plate, John looked around. "Oh Sasha redecorated I see. I don't like it."

Rose couldn't help but smile. "I'm not a huge fan of it either, but she swears that most of your old stuff will be back after the party. I don't know if we can believe her or not though. She was definitely not impressed with our decorating skills."

"I think we did a lovely job. It was very homey. Oh well, I'll talk to her in the morning about getting it all back." Rose approached him with a plate in one hand and a glass of wine in the other. He gratefully accepted them and, rather than heading to the kitchen table, he turned and walked to where she had been sitting on the floor. He set his food next to hers on the little table and plopped unceremoniously onto the rug, then motioned her to join him.

Rose stalled for a moment. She consciously had to remember who was sitting before her. This was not the Doctor. No matter what he did or how darling he was, this was not the man she secretly loved. He was the man that would disappear soon, leaving his emotionally stunted doppelganger in his place. She had to maintain. He was now sipping his wine and looking up at her. Rose let out a quiet sigh and joined him. 

While he ate happily, Rose sat and tried to look out the window. It was hard to stay focused on not interacting with him exclaiming. "Oh this lasagna is glorious!" Or "Oh my how about this bread, I could eat a whole loaf!" 

Rose would glance at him from time to time. Each time she did though, the felt another tug at her heart. She found herself focusing on his lips once, and even worse he seemed to notice, taking an extended time to wipe them off with his folded napkin. 

Finally, not able to stand it anymore, Rose stood, took her glass and stepped up to the window. She could hear John still behind her, and then put his fork down. He didn’t seem to move for a few moments, and then he stood up and was next to her. Rose tried to casually move a way, but he was close enough that it would have been blatantly obvious. 

“Rose,” he started, turning his back to the window to look directly at her. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she answered quietly, trying to look calm but failing miserably. 

John moved closer, definitely in her personal space. Rose unconsciously slid back, but her legs hit the couch, halting her retreat. 

John took a sip of his wine. Rose could see the remnants on his lips. Why was she looking at his lips again? He licked the leftovers of and Rose was transfixed. 

John moved a little closer still. “Rose, what can I do to get you not to hate me? Am I that bad that you can’t stand to be around me?” His eyes were soft, and oh so deep. Rose could have dived in, and was hanging on by a thread. She knew it. It was her Doctor, so close she could feel his breath on her cheeks. 

She stammered,”I-I don’t hate you.” She gathered her courage. “You’re just a little rough to be around sometimes. You have to admit you aren’t always the nicest person.”

He moved back a little. “What? Me? Are you saying I’m rude? Well I suppose so, but it’s because I know what I want. I don’t intend to be ‘rough’ as you say. I just get excited.”

“I just seem to be your target, that’s all. Do you even see you hard I work for you?” Rose was feeling much more confident now. “I keep my distance from you because I am waiting for you to yell at me. “

“Is that why you escape all the time? I had no idea. Oh my, can I apologize for that? I never meant to hurt you in any way. I guess I just got carried away. I do see what you do for me and I would never be able to survive without you. I would be starving, naked and have a serious lack of tea. It would be horrible. That’s not even taking into account what would happen to my book. I couldn’t live without you Rose.” Again he moved closer to her, his arm brushing hers as they both turned to look at the storm. 

The silence was broken by a particularly close lightning bolt and they both jumped, and then laughed together. John swung his arm around behind her and pulled her to him. Rose immediately got goose bumps. Her first impulse was to jump away. This was too close even for the Doctor’s standards. The real him would have bolted by now, but John held tight. Every fiber of Rose’s being was screaming “Abort, abort! What would the Doctor think if you let this happen? Run!” 

Rose knew that it was wrong, knew that she was acting on her feelings for the Doctor and risked losing everything if he remembered this. But it felt so good. Stifling the alarms in her head, Rose leaned back into him. It was subtle, but she could tell he noticed, because he pulled her closer still. 

All the crap John had doled out, the yelling, the childish behavior, the insulting comments… they all washed away. He just felt so right, like she was supposed to be there. Still staring out the window, John spoke again. “Rose, I’ve been watching you. Not in a creepy way, but I’ve noticed you. I see everything you do. You have such grace and attention to detail. You have to know too, that when you thought I had slept with Sasha it hurt me. I wanted nothing more than you to know that that was not the truth. Heaven knows she wanted it, but I didn’t. She’s not my type. I mean not at all.”

“But you were so close…” 

“We were, until I saw you. Then it dawned on me the grave mistake I was making. I had had my eye on you for a while, and I was consciously trying to be better for you, but she came along and swept me away. It was overpowering. I think I also had to test myself to see if I really was not interested. That and I felt like I had to at least be polite since I was going to be working with her. It was stupid I know.”

Rose was quiet. She truly was at a loss for words. She watched the rain and the now more distant lightning. Her alarms had quieted now, replaced by the warmth of him next to her. It just felt right. 

John turned to her, removed his arm from behind her and gently took her hands. “Rose, I… I don’t know… will you…” Seeming to lose his words, he leaned forward, capturing her lips on his. He was gentle, but insistent. Initially Rose froze, but only for a moment. Over a year of holding back pushed hard and her floodgates opened. She accepted the kiss and matched his fervor. Soon his hands were in her hair and hers in his. His tongue poked her lips for entrance and she gladly let him in. He tasted of wine and spices and she drank deeply. Next his hands encircled her waist, drawing her closer still. 

Rose’s mind was flooded with images, running, hugging, snuggling, sharing intimate meals, her falling asleep on him watching a movie or under the stars. It was right, but at the same time… WRONG! Rose lifted her hands to his chest and pushed off. He was holding her tight enough, that is took a little effort to break the embrace. John stumbled back, clearly bewildered. 

Rose stepped back also. “I can’t…”

“What? What?” he sputtered. 

Rose raised her eyes to him and swallowed. There was no real way to explain this other than,”There’s someone else.”

“Someone else? But how… I mean I’ve never seen…” John stopped and just looked at her, his face now unreadable. 

“I’m sorry.” Rose stated simply. She wasn’t sorry, really. I fact she wanted nothing more than to continue the kiss…maybe more. But if there was a shred of hope that she could have the Doctor, even the minutest of spark, it was worth it. Caving to John was a primal need. She was reacting to the shell, not the man inside. John was not her Doctor, her Doctor was in the watch. She knew it, but convincing her hormones was an entirely different matter. 

John turned and forcefully ran his hand through his hair. “So this whole time you have had someone else? How come I’ve never seen him, you’ve never mentioned him…anything. Or is this just you, trying to find a nice way to reject me?”

Rose was stunned at John’s revelation. “No, no, John, he’s real. I don’t get to see him much. But I’m close to him. He’s gone right now, for a little while. But he’ll hopefully be back. I didn’t mean to confuse you.”

John sighed deeply and put his hands on the window, looking out. Just as he did there was a bright green streak in the sky that lit up the street. It ended in an explosion of sorts about a mile from their building. 

“What was that? “ Rose asked, coming to the window herself. 

John didn’t answer.

“I mean it, what was that green thing?”

John turned and faced her, his jaw set, and his eyes cold. “I don’t know, maybe a transformer blowing. You should have told me. I put myself out there for you. I actually made a conscious effort and you made me look like a fool.”

“John, I had no intention of hurting you.”

“But you did, and now I look like a complete arse. What else are you keeping from me?”

Rose wanted to scream out everything, but settled for “Nothing. “

John looked her up and down. Then he walked away down the hall to his bedroom without another word.

Rose picked the remnants of the food, went to the kitchen and corked the wine bottle and threw the rest in the bin. Her actions were robotic, her limbs near numb. What came next was worse though, the aching feeling of emptiness. John’s reaction still stung deeply. Now she had pushed him off, but she did it with no assurance that the Doctor would ever fill the gap. He certainly seemed to have no plans to anyway. Now she has pissed off the only man who took a real interest in her. On top of that there was no way to know how he would treat her now. He could be like the Doctor and just ignore situations, but that didn't seem like John. Luckily she had not rejected him in front of anyone. But she still had to work with him and keep him safe. Hopefully the Doctor would have no memory of what happened. 

There was still the party to consider too. She wondered if he would simply let her go after all that. That would be terrible. With all the thoughts and fears swirling in her head, Rose headed to bed. She slept with the fob watch in a pocket, for some reason she needed it close, maybe for more reason than one.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here are four chapters today so I can wrap this one up. I usually post to Teaspoon. That's were you will find all my works and I tend to post there first. I post under the same screen name.

Rose didn't have to worry about how John would react to her in the morning. His reaction was simply absenteeism. When she got up he was just gone. No note, nothing. He didn't move out though, as she panicked briefly about. He left all his things around as usual. He did, however, leave her two new chapters to edit. They were doozies too. In them the "Doctor" and Ginger get taken, and all sorts of unfortunate circumstances befall her. He escaped unscathed, but she was not so lucky. Rose was sure she knew what he was doing, taking it out on his poor characters or character rather. 

Sighing, she edited it for minor errors and didn't comment on the content. She sent the chapters back to him as soon as she could. Maybe that would make him feel better, but most likely not. 

Rose, on the other hand, felt no better at all. She didn't even know if talking to John would help. What would she say anyway that hadn’t been said? Unless she made up a story about who she was seeing, but spinning a tale now would be tough. It was also possible that John actually wouldn’t care now that she had told him no. More and more she wanted to open the watch and be done. Just one little action could set all of this right, well if not right, at least back to somewhat normal. Then she could explain herself. Wait, no… what would the Doctor think? What if he remembered what happened? Rose sighed and pounded her palm on her forehead. Nothing was going to be easy when this was over. 

About an hour later, the lift doors opened to a ruckus. John was in the center of it all, talking with Sasha. He was in full flirt mode too. Rose couldn't help but think that that was for her benefit. There were five people with him, including Jeffery from the publishers and three of Sasha's people. They all were in a lively conversation about food choices. 

Rose sat there silently at the kitchen table watching. No one even looked her direction. That was, until they stopped in the living room and John yelled out, "Rose! We need to order food in. Not from that horrible Italian place you got the food from last night."

Rose reddened, well now at least she knew how he would react, not that it was a surprise or anything she was back to being the help. She had thought he may revert back to the old John, and there it was. "What would you like?" Rose called back forcing her sweetest voice.

"I don't know, Rose, that's your job. Sasha's vegan and these two," he pointed to two of the assistants," can't have dairy. Hurry up too." 

Rose suppressed a growl. What about the Italian food? He seemed to love it last night. It was just another jab, she was sure. 

Retrieving a stack of takeout menus from the kitchen drawer, Rose chose one who delivered salads. She ordered a variety with dressings on the side, paid over the phone, assured the delivery address, and mumbled something to the group about running and errand and left. As the lift door closed, she could feel John's eyes on her. When she looked up at him, he quickly looked away. 

OoOoOoOoOo

The days leading up to the party were increasingly tough on Rose. John wasn't there much but had taken to leaving long lists of things to complete instead of talking to her. That, coupled with him being the only person she normally conversed with, made the days long and lonely. Rose also had a continuous uneasy feeling. The sight of the green explosion stayed in the back of her head always. He hadn't explained what "the Family" would look like if they arrived, just that she needed to look out. There was no way to know if the green explosion had anything to do with them or it was just something that happened in the storm. Next she had to figure out if they did find the Doctor, how would they present? For all it was worth, at least if there were Daleks to fight they could be seen. 

Everything about this made her anxiety increase. At the time he was filling her in about “The Family”, she thought she had enough information, but now she wished she had asked more questions. They could be anywhere, doing anything. It was painful not to know. The mere thought made her skin crawl and paranoia started to set in. Every little thing made her jump, especially when something fell, or there was a loud noise. Car horns were the worst, but the banging of trash cans was unnerving also. Having no one to talk to only make it hit harder. Here she was, no friends, a boss that now seemed to hate her again, possibly having to fight someone or something she knew little about She was truly relieved when John came home, even if he did ignore her. 

Rose sank deeper and deeper as the party marched closer. As if she didn't have enough, another fear emerged during one of her sleepless nights. What if the attitude John currently had towards her transferred into the Doctor when he returned? She held the fob watch tightly in her hand often. It seemed to whisper to her now and again, but she never was sure if it was a dream. It was so subtle. But when it did, it calmed her, like it was saying that everything was going to be alright, even if it wasn’t it helped to feel like she was close to her Doctor. 

OoOoOoOoOo

Finally the day of the party came. Coincidentally it was when Rose marked that there was only two weeks left of her, and his, captivity. After getting ready for her very long day, Rose went into the kitchen as usual. Unusually, John sat at the kitchen table. This time of day he was normally in his office with the door shut or just plain gone. When came back later he was usually with someone. Jeffrey his publicist from the publishers was there a lot, along with Sasha and a variety of others. It all was alright with Rose though; if someone else was there, there was conversation, not just the usual silence. His eyes were on her a lot, not creepily, but just observing. At first it was unnerving, but then she simply chose to ignore it, which only somewhat worked. 

John’s demeanor had not been horrible in the last day or so. It seemed like he got his shot in when he insulted the Italian food. He certainly wasn’t sweet either like he had been…more like indifferent. Like he didn't care what happened or maybe wanted her to think he didn't care. Either way each day Rose crossed off another box on her calendar made her a little more hopeful that he would be back to normal soon. 

John looked up as she came in and gave her a curt nod. Rose went about making coffee. "Would you like some tea John?" She made a point to punctuate his name, indicating that she was in control of the situation. 

"Yes please, thank you Rose."

Those had been the most polite and complete thing he had said to her lately and the words made her turn to face him. He was watching her with a blank expression. She noticed that he squinted a little as if examining her. Then he looked down at his laptop again and began to type. After a few moments he stopped, making Rose turn again due to the silence. He took a deep breath like he had something important to say, then shook his head ever so slightly. "What is our timeline for tonight?" he asked. Though it occurred to Rose that the words he said were not the words that played across his face. He had looked like he wanted to actually talk to her, but convinced himself otherwise. 

Rose brought her mug over to the table and sat across from him. "The staff arrives at 5:00 for set up, though they may be in and out today for little things. The guests are slated to arrive about 7:00 to have drinks and appetizers, with dinner beginning at 8:15. Your reading begins around 9:00. 

He nodded again and went back to writing before stopping abruptly and looking up. "You'll be there I presume?"

"I was planning on it.”

"Mmm Hmmm," he hummed. 

With that Rose got up and went about her "To-Do" list for the night. Something seemed off though. It was weird. She started off by going downstairs to deliver the guest list to the doorman, Manny. He was polite as usual but a little more cold than normal. That and she swore he sniffed her as she passed. "Everything alright Manny?" she asked in passing. 

"Yes Maam, maybe just an allergy."

"Well take care of yourself!" she called, but as she looked back she also thought she noticed that his skin flashed a bright green, like a light was on him. When he saw she was looking, it went away as quickly as it appeared. Rose tried to chalk it up to her being on edge, but there seemed to be something off. 

When Rose returned to the flat hours later it had been transformed. The living room furniture had been flattened against the walls and chairs had been added, making what looked like small seating areas scattered around. A long table now sat in the middle of the room and it was surrounded by chairs of its own. Rose took in the surroundings. Sasha's people had removed all the normal decorations and added their own. Now the whole place was draped in rich lavenders and reds. People bustled about setting up and making food. It was actually hard to move around for all the workers. Rose stepped forward and nearly ran into Jeffery who came out of the kitchen. 

"Oh hi Jeffery. Is there anything I can do to help? Where's John?"

Jeffery regarded her with a blank stare that quickly turned into an all-too-bright smile. He quirked his head to the side and took a huge breath in through his nose, similarly to how Manny did this morning. He shook his head and set his eyes on her again. "No Miss Rose, there is nothing you can do. I don't know where John is." With that he marched off into a crowd of staff. Rose was sure he could hear another distinct sniff as he did. Now Rose could not deny the weirdness in front of her. But then again, who would she tell? It's not like she could tell John, he'd never believe her anyway. 

Rose went in to change about an hour before the party began. John hadn't been around much, though she'd seen him in passing. He still watched her though; she could feel his eyes on her when she entered the room. Though it would have been intriguing had it been the Doctor, with John it was getting to be a more and more off-putting. 

Rose chose little black dress that she had been saving but hadn’t known why. She could have worn it on several different occasions, but hadn't until now. It was short and clung to her curves nicely. It also had a plunging neckline and mostly open back. It was off the shoulders save for two thin straps. At the waist it had a little ruffle of fabric that accentuated her hips. All in all it was a great one by any standard. She chuckled to herself when she stood in the mirror adjusting it. It was cruel to do this to John she thought, but then again maybe some of it would leak into the Doctor's psyche. She could only hope. Then again, maybe she wasn't what the Doctor was looking for. Maybe that was why he had never made an advance. Her thoughts flew back to his comment when he was his leather wearing self and she was about to meet Charles Dickens. Back to when he said she looked beautiful "For a human." It was conceivable that Timelords didn't find humans attractive. As Rose stood there looking at herself, a cold chill descended upon her. What if he would never like her for that?

That thought stayed with her as she picked up the fob watch and turned it in her hand. She huffed out a breath heavily. The last thing she needed to do was depress herself more. As it was, she wasn't sure how she would get through the next few hours. John would most likely just ignore her in the presence of all the admirers. But having Sasha there was always an irritant. Everything she did or said cut at Rose. It was clear that she badly wanted John, but why was not clear. He wasn't really her type, even when he was John and not the Doctor. Sure he was good looking, she held that thought for a few moments, yes he was, but he was pretty geeky by most standards. It must have been the fame and money that she was really attracted to. That's how ugly rich guys get trophy wives right? 

Just the thought of that made Rose shudder. What would happen now that she had basically shut him down? Would he run to Sasha? She knew that he wasn't really her type, or was she? Again the thoughts of Reinette slammed into her brain. She frowned and sat down hard on the bed. What was she doing? He was never going to have her. There was simply too much in the way. 

"Rose! Rose!" John's voice broke through her reverie. "Rose I need you!" he hollered down the hall. 

"I'm coming!" she yelled back, sounding huskier than she wanted. 

Rose wiped her face then checked it in the in the mirror. The tears that had clouded her vision hadn't fallen and she quickly mopped them up before touching up her makeup and scurrying out the door. In the hallway she realized that she had no pockets. Carrying the fob watch all night wouldn’t have been feasible. She patted her dress, and… Oh! The sash! She pushed the watch into a little space near her left hip and wiggled to be sure it would stay. It seemed pretty secure so she headed off to meet up with everyone in the living room. Time for the party.


	9. Chapter 9

When Rose entered the living room, it mostly empty, to her surprise. Sasha and her crew had gone. The caterers had set up a magnificent spread, but all that was left was a guy behind the bar setting out bottles. He eyed her suspiciously as she approached. Rose waved at him as she drew closer surveying the set up. All the bottles were top shelf liquor. "This is nice stuff." she remarked to the bartender. He nodded slowly. Then like the Manny the doorman and Jeffery, he sniffed deeply. She stepped back quickly and shot him a look. He cocked his head to the side and continued to look at her. Rose backed away slowly then turned when she heard a noise behind her. All thoughts of the weirdness of the encounter melted away as she took sight of John and he took her breath away. 

He stood in front of her leaning onto the counter. He smirked at her, taking her in also. He wore a slim black suit. It was tailored at the waist. Underneath he had on a crisp white shirt under a skinny sleek tie. His shoes were shiny and black, and she marveled at the fact that he actually went for dress shoes over his normal sneakers. He was the picture of suave, though his breath hitched at the sight of her. He didn't cover the fact that he was taking her in from head to toe, or that his eyes hovered around her breasts. Rose blushed at his gaze, or maybe it was his clothes. None the less she was blushing furiously. When she looked up at him though, she found the same on him. His face didn't otherwise change though. There they stood, both literally staring at each other and saying nothing. 

When the lift bell dinged then both jumped. They turned in tandem to look. It was Sasha and about five other people. John took one quick glance back at Rose and lurched forward. "Hello Sasha! And who do we have here?" He enthusiastically joined them and was soon pumping hands and hugging and giving fake kisses. Rose felt eyes on her and saw that it was Sasha. It was a cold stare too, causing goose bumps to rise on Rose’s arms and for her to take an involuntary step back just like she had from the bartender. Sasha looked away after a few moments leaving Rose to feel genuinely unsettled. 

Soon after that, people began to arrive. Rose relaxed somewhat when she saw the balance of the crowd behaving normally. Conversations blossomed, people sat and ate and drank, and the general mood in the room was celebratory and calm. Though it still bothered her how Jeffery, the bartender and Sasha had been. Could this be the Family, or was she just overtired and paranoid? Amongst the party goers all three seemed mostly to blend in. Sasha was the easy to see a difference in though, as she had seemed to have lost her normal flare. She wasn’t the center of attention as usual and that was enough to catch Rose’s eye. 

At one point Rose ran into her in the kitchen. She seemed to be looking for something. "Sasha, can I help you find something?"

Sasha looked at Rose but almost like she didn’t see her. She quickly went back to her looking about, both at the people hovering around as well as opening and closing cabinets at random. On a whim, Rose stepped up to her and tried something. "So Sasha, I hear you bought a kangaroo at the market and he only eats corn. What did you name him?"

Sasha stopped what she was doing, and faced her. Rose felt like Sasha was going to think she had gone mental. But she simply said, "Where is John?" and sniffed deeply again. That was enough for Rose. Things were only getting weirder by the minute. 

With that she turned, not answering the question, but Sasha didn't react at all. At that moment one of the catering staff announced that dinner was ready and started directing people towards their seats. Rose hustled over to John, who was seated on one of the couches against the wall. She sat next to him and when she did, two of the people that were with him got up to go to the buffet. John started to stand also, but Rose grabbed his arm and tugged him back down. 

"Rose, OW, stop that! What's the matter with you?"

Rose leaned in close to his ear and he flinched back a little. She put her hand on his shoulder to pull him close again. "John, something is going on. Have you noticed? Sasha and Jeffery are acting really odd, the bartender too. Can you come with me for a minute?" 

"Rose, no. I don't know what you are talking about. Everything seems fine to me. You're being paranoid. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll get back to my guests."

Rose grabbed his arm. "I'm serious, something is wrong. I need to talk to you."

John forcefully pulled his arm away and gave her a fierce look. "That's enough.” He whispered angrily. “Don’t touch me, what's wrong with you?" He didn't wait for an answer, spun around quickly and was steps away before Rose could stop him. She stood there a moment, trying to metabolize what was going on. A line had formed of the party goers at the buffet. It was actually a long table that had been set up by the caterers. Rose looked around. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. Everyone was calm and the various conversations were punctuated by happy laughter. All in all it looked normal. No wonder John thought Rose had gone round the bend. 

Then Rose felt it, eyes on her. She turned slowly to find Sasha, Jeffery and the bartender all standing shoulder to shoulder, all staring at her, expressions otherwise blank. Then in unison they turned towards each other and began to talk quietly. Oh yeah, this wasn't good. 

Opting to blend in, Rose got a plate of food and had a seat as near as she could get to John. Dinner was mostly casual, the guests quizzing John and him playing the effervescent host. Rose watched him, seated a few chairs away and across the table. He was happy, smiling telling jokes, entertaining his guests. It felt good, yet painful. This was who he was to her, but it hurt that this was not what he was right now. She hoped against hope that they would get back there, sooner rather than later. Again the creeping feeling of doubt slunk up into her thoughts. Maybe the Doctor would be mad with her too. It was too much to bear right now. She needed to maintain her focus, but it was hard. Being in love with your best friend was torture. 

Wait, what? A cold sweat broke over Rose. Was she in love with him? Not John, but the Doctor? It was there for sure, but really? Suddenly Rose felt sick. That was quite an epiphany to arrive over her chicken marsala. She needed to be somewhere else, NOW. Just as she was pushing back her chair she could see that others were too. People had begun to assemble at a big cluster of chairs by a small dais. 

It must be time for the reading. As the guests went about finding places to sit and John gathered his papers to read the first chapter of his new book, Rose hustled down her hall, past her room and to the TARDIS, more specifically to the locked cabinet that housed the TARDIS. She felt around on top of the cabinet for the key to the padlock and pulled it down. It wasn't the most brilliant hiding place, but it was enough to keep most people from snooping. Then she remembered that her TARDIS key was in her bedside drawer. She had swapped it out for a necklace tonight. 

Cursing her fashion choices, Rose set both hands on the door to feel the vibration if nothing else. The TARDIS sent waves though her, instantly calming her and she took a deep, steadying breath. Then the felt a shock, not like an electric shock, but more like a strong vibration. She leaned forward again and put her hands back on it and got the same feeling. It was as if the TARDIS didn't want her right there. 

"Fine," she said quietly, "if you don't want me either, I'll find somewhere else to be." She locked back up the cabinet doors, straightened up her dress, fluffed her hair and stomped off back down the hall. This night could not be over soon enough, nor could the remaining two weeks. She couldn’t remember ever feeling as low as she did now. Maybe when her first Doctor sent her away in the TARDIS for home, that had been horrific too. But now not only did she miss him, but she felt bad about herself and her ability to protect him. She distinctly felt like tonight may be the end of John’s tolerance for her. What would she do if he sent her away? It’s not like she just could hide out somewhere for the time. Anything could happen to him. That was enough to keep her hanging on, but maybe not enough to keep her from being dismissed. 

As she approached the living room again, she could hear John reading the story. He was a natural and had the audience hooked. No one even looked up as she re-entered the room. Then oddly, the lift bell dinged. It made everyone turn around because it was unexpected. The doors opened to reveal Manny the doorman. He wasn't wearing his usual warm grin, but a rather stern look. He stepped out and immediately was flanked by Sasha, Jeffery and then the bartender. 

John was the first to speak. "Is there something wrong? Sasha? Jeffery?” he asked. 

 

As if on cue, the four started to laugh loudly. Jeffery stepped forward from the foursome and bellowed, "WHERE IS THE DOCTOR? WE ARE HERE FOR THE DOCTOR." The partygoers gasped and oohed and ahhhed. They thought it was part of the show. John, however, wore a mask of pure confusion.

 

More noises from the audience. John stepped down from the dais. "Ok, what is happening here? Are you all alright?"

Rose had just entered the room again but everyone was facing away watching the exchange. Slowly, she circled around the back of the room inching closer behind the four. She didn't know what she was doing, nor did she have a plan, but had to get closer. If nothing else she had to see what they were doing. She had inched up within a few feet of them when the bartender turned and lunged at her, grabbing her arm before she could jump away. Rose let out a yelp as he crushed her to him. He had a death grip on her wrist and as he forced her close to his body, she felt a pop and a little crunch in it. Pain exploded from her arm, but she bit her lip hard to keep from crying out. 

Jeffery now pulled a huge gun-like thing from his jacket and pointed it at John. "Where is the Doctor? If you do not produce him, we will see to the end of this one's life. Manny pulled another gun from his overcoat and handed it to the bartender, who quickly hit it on Rose's temple and pressed it hard against her skull. This made Rose let out a scream, momentarily blurring her vision and making her feel faint. She fought unconsciousness though, steadying herself and struggling against his grip. That only brought more pain. 

John stood frozen. His mouth gaped open. He looked at Rose, then back to the others. "What are you talking about? The Doctor is a character in my book. Is this some kind of joke, because if it is, you're carrying it too fa-"

"SILENCE!" boomed Jeffery. He took his gun and, aiming it above his head, shot three quick bolts of green beams into the ceiling resulting in the ceiling collapsing and crashing down around them. Chaos ensued as the guests screamed, panicked and ran for cover. 

Rose took the opportunity of Jeffery’s blunder and the confusion to drive her left elbow into the abdomen of the bartender. It startled him enough for her to wrench away from him, though it felt like she might have had her injured arm torn off in the process. At that moment though, all she could think to do was run for the stairwell. Dust clouded everything and people were everywhere but she grabbed as many people as she could and shoved them through the door. Soon the fire alarm sounded and the sprinklers engaged, dousing everyone and everything. 

The escaping crowd ran and stumbled down the stairs. Rose didn't stop until they were about three flights down. Several people stopped with her. As she looked around she could see that several of them were injured like her. Mostly cuts and bruises, but one lady had an obviously broken leg. Rose wondered how she made it so far down the stairs. She was pale too, so Rose helped her gingerly sit on the landing, taking time to arrange her leg as best she could. It was already starting to bruise and swell though. "WH-what is happening?" asked the bewildered woman, wiping away tears that led to wet dust smudges on her cheeks. "Who are those people? Oh my God my leg hurts. Was this part of John's show?"

Rose opened her mouth to answer, but before she could a familiar voice came from behind her. "I don't know what is happening. It's not part of my reading. " He sounded out of breath and harried. Rose whirled around to see John, covered in debris with blood smeared across his shirt. It didn't look like his blood; she figured that he had just rubbed up against someone.   
"John are you OK?" Rose asked.

"No I'm not OK! Something has happened and these people are shooting up my flat and injuring my guests. Of course I'm not OK!"

"I mean are you injured?"

"No." He looked at her earnestly. "Are you?”

"Yes, but I'm OK." She answered putting her injured wrist behind her. She looked around at the people assembled on the landing. This was no pace to talk to him, and she needed to... badly. "Can you come up the stairs with me? I need to talk to you."

"Rose no way, get CLOSER to them? This isn't a game." He looked truly terrified, a look Rose had seen on others but never on her Doctor. 

"John, please, now. We have to go. I have to talk to you. NOW!" Her sudden increase in volume made him jump back. Exasperated, she grabbed his arm with her good hand and tugged him up away from the others. They were still flights of stairs separated from the action upstairs and she pulled him close, face to face. "John you aren't going to believe me, but I need to tell you something. I need you to listen though. "

He dumbly nodded. 

"Those people up there aren't really people. They are what is called The Family. They want to take you."

"Why on Earth would they want me?"

"Because you are the Doctor." she replied simply. 

"Are you insane?" I made him up, I'm not him. Who are those people. Are they terrorists or something? What’s happening? “

“I told you, now you have to listen. They are The Family. They are looking for the Doctor. I don’t know any other way to say this. You are him. You have been hidden away. But somehow they found you. Now they want you, and it doesn’t sound like they will take ‘no’ for an answer. I have some things to tell you.”

John looked at her incredulously. “I don’t know how they got this all so wrong. Maybe I should just go up there and explain myself. But then again they are shooting..."

Just then door swung open two flights above and a booming voice echoed down. "DOCTOR!!! DON’T HIDE FROM US!!! “There was a voice next to the first, but much quieter. Rose recognized it as Sasha telling Jeffery something. Then Jeffery's voice came back. "WE HAVE FOUND YOUR TARDIS. YOU CAN'T RUN DOCTOR. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU."

Rose cringed. The found the cabinet. Lovely. She looked down to see John crouched at her feet, looking up at her with abject fear and horror on his features. This wasn't her Doctor, he wouldn't give into fear. This was John. It occurred to Rose that this man wasn’t brave, he didn't intend on setting this right. She needed her Doctor now. It was time. 

Rose knelt beside John and put her hand on his shoulder. He was shaking. She got very close to his ear so her voice didn't carry. "John, I don't know what to say, other than that you are him. You knew this family was coming for you and you hid yourself away. I was here to take care of you. But now it's time to become yourself again. "

"You are insane," he whispered back. 

Rose reached into her sash and pulled out the fob watch. "All you were, your thoughts, memories... everything... is in here. You put it in here for me to keep. But if you open it, you will be him again." She placed the watch in John's hand. He looked warily at it but didn't otherwise move. 

"Crack it open... you'll see. Please John, our lives depend on it. "

John reached up with his other hand and opened it a tiny bit. Gold light emanated out and he shot back, striking his head on the wall. Then he looked at Rose, wide eyed. "Was that me? Oh my God, was that who I am?" 

"Yes. What did you see?"

John shook his head and puffed out a breath. "I saw everything, I saw robots and stars and people, loads and loads of people. Nine men all dressed oddly but different. One had a long scarf, another with a leather jacket, one that looked like me, but all of them seemed so familiar. I saw you too, but you were with a lot of others, men and women. What was that?”

“That was you. That was the Doctor, everything about him. You saw a miniscule part of the Doctor, of you. That’s why it was familiar. You’re in there. We just need to let you out.”

“If I open it, what happens to John?"

"He goes away I suppose. You become the Doctor again. "

"Is this some sort of rouse? I mean, this is crazy. I'm not the Doctor."

As if on cue, Jeffery's voice came booming down again. "DOCTOR! I'M GETTING TIRED OF WAITING. IF YOU DON"T COME BACK NOW, THERE WILL BE BLOOD ON YOUR HANDS." Next there was a sharp scream and someone pleading "Please let me go." It sounded like a young woman. There had been several at the party so it was hard to tell who it was, but she was in pain. 

John hit his head with the heel of his hand. "How could this be?" he whispered. "It makes no sense!" 

Rose put her hand on his shoulder. "It is. You’re him."

"I'm not." 

"You are." 

John rubbed his face. "No, wait, know! I'll go up there and talk to them. I'm not him. They can have him. He's in here right?" 

"NO!” Rose answered, a little too loud. "If you give them the watch, they will live forever. They could take over the world, even the universe. No, you have to do this. Please trust me. It’ll work. But we have to open in now. We’re out of time. "

John eyed her suspiciously. "No, there has to be another way." The watch had started to whisper while they had been arguing. Rose wondered if he could hear it. He looked down at it so maybe he did. He stood and held the watch in front of him like it was infected. 

"Rose, go tend to the injured ones. I'm going to go negotiate. If they want him they can have him." The authority in his voice was betrayed by the fear in his eyes. 

"Please," Rose repeated, "You're the Doctor. You have to save the people. Open the watch." Tears now spilled. Rose didn’t know how else to tell him that he was the Doctor. The tears mixed with the blood from where she had been hit on the temple, dripping onto her chest. John reached out and wiped it up with his shirt cuff, then looked into her eyes. 

"I'll take care of it Rose." With that he turned and headed up the stairs.

Rose reached out to stop him. "Let me come with, you and I... we're a team. You may not know it now, but we really are."

John shook his head. "No Rose," he whispered, eyes softening, "if something happened to you I could never forgive myself. He lifted her good hand and put a gentle kiss into her palm. He pointed to her wrist, now badly swollen and beginning to bruise. "Take care of yourself Rose, or whatever your name is." Then he turned on his heel and bounded up the steps. Rose watched him go until she couldn't see him anymore, and then went to help the injured people.


	10. Chapter 10

Rose expected to hear crashing, banging, or at least some gunfire upstairs but it was virtually silent, and that was incredibly unnerving. The worst part was that it was the nothing seemed to happen, no fighting, no escaping, and ultimately no appearance for a triumphant Doctor. Nothing, nothing at all happened next. Save for the firefighters showing up and investigating a ceiling collapse and injured people. 

Rose helped the injured people down to the lobby where they met with rescuers and were taken to hospitals. In the chaos, their reports of shooting alien fell on deaf ears and were ultimately written off as a show gone wrong. The publishing company had to take blame because their own publicist and the stylist they had hired were involved. No one could find them though and the media concocted a story that they were secretly lovers and co-conspirators and had run off together. Rose saw to it that Manny was not linked to the whole thing, saying he had come up in the commotion and had somehow been vaporized in the collapse. No one refuted the fact that he came up just before the shooting started. The bartender had been a single man with no other family and he was written off as someone who Sasha and Jeffery had paid. 

On the night of the event though, Rose waited for hours for the checks by building inspectors and such, to be let back into the flat. What she found was much like what had happened... nothing. There was a huge mess where the ceiling fell down furniture was askew and broken, as well as food being scattered about, but then there was one glaring absence. The TARDIS was gone as well as its pilot. 

Rose stayed in the flat cleaning up for a while waiting for him, but he didn't come back. Finally, the pain in her wrist got bad enough that she wrote a big note, taped it securely to the refrigerator and went to A&E where she found she had a stable fracture, two torn ligaments for which she would require surgery in a week or so, and extensive bruising…all from being held by the alien invaded bartender. Her head wound turned out to be superficial and she got a plaster for it.

Upon returning to the flat, Rose rushed in, thoughts of the TARDIS sitting in the middle of the living room filling her head. Again she was greeted with a deserted flat. Rose stood there shocked, frightened, and completely at a loss. Had something happened? She had talked to the others that had not been able to flee the Family. They told of a man who came out of the blue and saved them, but many were confused and the stories conflicted. It was as if the Doctor had somehow scrambled their memory. One thing shone through though; there was a man in a black suit who took the four bad people. No one knew where he went though. The TARDIS was gone, and he would had have let them take him away in it. There were too many fail safes for that, The TARDIS herself being the biggest one. No, ho he had piloted her away, but why had he not come back?

Getting the surgery was the hardest. Still after a week he wasn’t there, and she had no one to get her as she was still under strict rules to contact no one from her old life. So she spent the night and was discharged in the morning. She had been fitted with a plaster splint and elastic wrap for now that would be replaced by a removable one later. She hoped that he would be back by then. A little TARDIS magic would fix her right up.  
But still nothing.

Rose trudged on through life at the flat without him. Days turned into weeks and he didn't return. After the 4th week, Rose came to the hard reality that it was time to make some decisions. Until then she had been busy covering things up. The publishing company was still interested in their cash cow, and it took everything Rose had do deflect them. She had to make a hasty story about John having an injury then a family emergency for the publisher to get off her back. That and a lot of denials about what had become to be known as the "Fake alien incident" kept her busy. 

At night though, when it was quiet and lonely, it was hard. She wondered about what he was doing, where he was and when, if ever, he was coming back. She had been told clearly not to contact her mother or anyone else while she was there. He had explained it as trouble for timelines and such. But a month in, Rose couldn't handle it any more. Her mother knew the nature of what she was doing and it shouldn't take much to convince her that everything was alright even if it wasn't.

So Rose sat at her computer a month from when he disappeared and started looking for Jackie Tyler. Oddly enough, no matter what she put in, she couldn't find her. There was something about Canary Wharf that seemed to happen years ago, but there was nothing. She knew that they were a few years into her future, but only about 8, so what was happening? Maybe it just wasn't meant to be. Not now at least, but Rose had all the time in the world. Now she knew just how Sara Jane felt. He was gone. Defeated, Rose headed to bed. No Doctor, no TARDIS, no mum and dwindling resources, it was too much. 

On Monday of week five, Rose sat on the couch in the living room, tea in hand, legs under her, staring out the window. Today was the day to move on. She had exhausted enough of her resources that she needed to move on before they were all up. The Doctor's time as John Smith was up too, and so was their time at the flat. It had been only rented for the three months they needed to hide, but she was able to extend it a little. Rose had packed up what she could, the balance of the furniture and fixtures that weren't damaged going to charity. She now wore a black wrist brace on the injured arm. It was still quite tender when she moved it, but at least the surgical wound was healing nicely. These were things she hadn't had to worry about in her time on the TARDIS. He had always fixed her up right away. There never was a slow path to healing. She hated to think that now that that was the path she was now on.

In the passing weeks she still couldn't find her mum, even after going to the Powell estate and poking around, being ever-so careful not to be seen. Defeated, she withdrew as much money as she could from any accounts in John's name and got ready for her departure. Luckily It still was a sizable amount for someone who no longer had a large rent to pay. 

Her plan was simple. She would ultimately rent a little place in London, it didn't have to be big, maybe look into some job training. For now she was going to travel a little. It was in her blood now, and waiting for him had been torture. She was itching to see something, anything, just to get out there. Who knows what was waiting out there. One thing for sure, he wasn’t coming back, not after a month. Rose sighed and sipped her tea. A car would be along in about fifteen minutes to take her to the train station. She tried to look back and see the positives of her time with him. All she saw and did, the fun she had with both incarnations of him. The bad stuff crept in here and there, but Rose forced herself to focus on the good. 

She had become a different person from that shop girl he had met in the basement. She was confident and strong now, more than fully capable of travelling on her own. But there was a piece missing. There was no one to share it with. No one to giggle with, hold hands with, try new things with, then hug when it was all over. Rose sighed and hugged her mug to her chest. There was definitely something not there. Rose closed her eyes as tears began to fall. She had thought they were all gone, apparently not. 

All of a sudden Rose's hair started to whip about, a wind coming up around her. Then there was the unmistakable wheezing sound. Rose covered her face against the wind until it stopped with a familiar thump. Rose didn't move, just sat there staring at the doors. 

Moments later, almost too long, the doors swung open to reveal a brown suited Doctor, eying her warily. "Hello," he said, quietly, voice devoid of its usual expression. 

"It's been a month." Rose answered, no inflection in her voice, not moving from her spot.

"Has it?" He ran his fingers through his hair, hand settling on the back of his neck. Then he looked back at her eyes landing on her wrist brace."You alright?"

Rose stirred, set down her mug and stood. "Fine. I thought you weren’t coming back."

“Yeah, sorry, I just had some… things to take care of, but I’m here now.”

The Doctor stepped back a little as if to give her a way into the TARDIS but Rose headed in the opposite direction, lifting a light box onto another bigger one then adding a stack of paper on top of that. The Doctor raised his eyebrow as he watched her. 

Rose turned to him. "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help me with these? It's hard for me to lift them. She had no humor or warmth in her voice, it was all business. It struck the Doctor as the same tone she took with him when she was his assistant. Of course he remembered what it felt like to communicate with her a month ago. It was clearer than he would have liked. 

Without a word he went over to a pile of boxes and easily lifted them, walking into the TARDIS and setting them down just by the door. Rose was just behind him with a few more things. It went like this for a few minutes, ending with Rose grabbing a large suitcase and a purple duffle bag and walking them in. She walked back out without talking to him, and headed down the hall to her former bedroom. The Doctor kept his distance, choosing to hover next to the blue box. He could hear her on the phone, but even his superior hearing couldn't decipher what she was saying. Plus the conversation was very short. She made another quick phone call immediately after the first. 

Rose emerged from the hall moments later shouldering yet another bag, this one much smaller. 

"Everything OK?" He asked, now in the doorway of the TARDIS.

"Yeah fine." she answered, flatly, “I had to cancel the car that was coming for me, and arrange for the other things to be picked up without me here.” The Doctor nodded and swallowed, hands deep in his pockets. 

“Shall we then?” he asked, stepping out of the doorway. 

He moved to the side allowing her in, taking one last glance of the flat they had shared. When he turned and headed in, Rose was reclining on the railing near the console. Looking at him up and down, Rose crossed her arms in front of her. When she spoke though, it was not as confident as he would have expected. "So... no more John?" she asked, thumb nail in her mouth. 

He still stood by the door but began to slowly advance towards her. "Well I imagine he's in here somewhere, but I'm back."

Rose nodded. "So was he a completely different person who you became and just remember, or was he part of you?"

"What are you asking?"

"John, the persona, was he made up, like from scratch? Or was he partially you?"

"He was made up entirely by the TARDIS. But I remember everything that happened. "

"Oh, so what he was, it wasn’t little bits of you.” she answered, looking at her feet. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say. He was him, there was no Time Lord in there. Then to his surprise, she advanced on him quickly, reached around him, grabbed the purple duffel and suitcase, and practically ran back up the ramp. "I'm going to go unpack some things and take a shower. The water was turned off at the flat. I had to make due with bottled water. I'll be back for the rest of this stuff in a little bit."

Stunned, he watched her go without so much as a smile. Her explanation was hasty and it felt like an excuse to leave more than anything. He noticed as she disappeared down the hall that the usual spring in her step and swing of the hips was gone. He couldn’t but think help that she was avoiding him, but that the space between the two of them was even bigger than any physical space she made.   
OoOoOoOo  
Minutes later in the shower, Rose let the warm water wash away her new tears. The man who had attempted to kiss her wasn't him he’s outright confirmed it. Now he would remember all of it; all of her awkwardness the kiss, her pushing him away. Now he would think that she was involved with someone else. He hadn't wanted her before, but this drove an even bigger wedge between them. Plus she had held him arm's length for so long it would feel odd to have him close again, that is if he wanted her to ever be close again. 

Rose got out and toweled herself off, still gingerly moving her wrist. She could take off the brace to shower but needed to wear it otherwise. While tugging on her brace, she carefully pulled on fuzzy jim jam bottoms and a loose t-shirt. While brushing her hair she padded into the bedroom and realized just how hungry she was. That’s also when she saw that all of the boxes and bags were stacked neatly against the wall by the door. He must have delivered them while she was in the shower. 

She was a little relieved that he had not been there waiting for her. In the month that she waited for him she had thought out literally hundreds of scenarios, yelling, questioning, debating, or being just plain angry with him. But now that he was back she didn’t have words. She wanted to be mad, but what would it do? It may only serve to drive him away more, and she obviously had done a pretty good job at that. 

Her heart still felt heavy, even walking the halls of the TARDIS to the kitchen. What if she had left? It was realistically only a matter of minutes before the car came for her. She had a note ready to go, but it would only be good as long as the flat was vacant. What if he had never come for her? She let that question settle in as she rooted around in the kitchen for food. She came up with her favorite chicken soup. Well the Doctor said it was chicken but the meat was purple and the noodles red. It tasted like chicken soup and was warm to it worked. After a few spoonfuls she actually started to feel warmer on the inside. It only just started to make her feel better when she heard a rustling at the door. 

When she looked up she was the Doctor standing in the doorway. He was regarding her in a way not unlike John Smith. 

Rose continued to eat, looking at him from time to time though neither of them spoke. Finally when she scooped the last drops of soup from the bowl she asked. “What?”

He returned a wide eyed look. “What?”

Rose smiled a little, it was good to see a little of his manic energy even it if was in confusion. 

Rose got up and washed her bowl in the sink. When she turned around he hadn’t moved. She was the first to speak.”What do you want Doctor? I actually was on my way to bed.”

The Doctor had been examining his shoes at that moment slowly looked up and drew a breath. “I guess I’m just waiting for you to yell at me. Why haven’t you?”

“I’m not my mother. Otherwise, I don’t know.”

She pushed past him and headed down to her bedroom. A few moments later he followed sheepishly. 

Rose flopped grabbed the suitcase, dragged it over and tossed it on the bed. Next she flopped down next to it and popped it open. She could see him looming in the doorway. She purposefully ignored him and started unpacking the suitcase. 

Rose kept on with her task when he spoke up again. "Rose I need to know where you want to go."

“Why? Don’t you usually pick? “

“I don’t think you understand, Ummm… I need to know WHO to take you to.“ He hadn’t moved from his spot in the doorway nor had he looked up. His hands were still in his pockets and he was nervously toeing his shoe into the carpet. 

 

Rose looked at him completely confused. Then slowly it dawned on her. He remembered everything. He heard her say there was someone else. He thought that now she wanted to go back to whomever that was. Rose blushed. He seemed to pick up on it and looked up. 

“Doctor, I think we need to talk.” She moved the clothes she had stacked up onto the floor. “Come sit.” She patted the bed next to her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I have enjoyed your comments and appreciate the Kudos. Be sure to check me out over on Teaspoon for the latest stuff.

The Doctor looked like he was about to bolt. He even took a step backwards into the hall, but then came forward, almost haltingly. Rose saw all of it and tried to interpret what was happening. He seemed afraid of her. Why? Because he had left her? Maybe he hadn’t intended on being gone so long on her timeline. He miscalculated all the time. It may have just been his most common mistake, then again maybe not. Maybe he wanted to let her stew for a while, maybe he hadn't wanted to come back. Rose forced herself to squash those thoughts for now. 

He sat on the end of the bed a good two feet away from her. Rose tried again to not let it show. "What do we need to talk about?" he asked, staring at his shoes. 

Rose in a voice a little too chipper asked, "So where is John Smith, is he totally gone? I mean not that I would mind or anything." Her attempt at humor fell flat based in his expression. 

The Doctor sighed deeply, tapping his head. "No he's in here somewhere I guess. You didn't care for him then?"

"Doctor, John Smith was not nice to me. I can't say that I did. I worked my tail of for him. It wasn't really a pleasant experience. "

"But I-he was nicer at the end."

"I suppose so; I was ready to be done though. When you didn’t come back I had to make plans. I was actually leaving. The car was almost there to take me. It's weird though, I couldn't find my mum. But I was leaving to go travel, hence the suitcase and bags. The boxes were going to charity, but I guess we have them now.”

“I almost missed you? But I would have found you. I always find you.”

Rose gave him a little smile. “I didn’t think you were coming back.”

“I was, I just got…delayed.” He was examining his feet again.

Rose changed the subject. “What happened to The Family?"

The Doctor took a deep breath and looked at her again. "Well they wanted to live forever, that's why they were after me. So I let them." He ended with that. What he didn’t tell her was that they are now each living in a carousel in a traveling carnival on a planet where the atmosphere causes the inhabitants to age very slowly. They live for centuries. The Family may not live forever, but it would feel like it. They can see through the eyes of the figures they have been placed in, but that was it. Now up and down for the rest of time, or until the carousel is retired.

"And what about the people they took over? I mean Sasha, Jeffery, Manny and the bartender?"

"They are gone I'm afraid. They were gone the minute the Family took them. That part I'm sorry about. Four people are no more because of me. It's a small price in the grand scheme of all that have died at my hand, but still." He looked away and swallowed hard. She could see his Adam’s apple bobbing. In profile his face had taken a forlorn expression. Rose couldn't help herself and started to move a little closer to him. Before she could get there, he sniffed loudly and stood. "Well there's that then. So I need a destination for you. "

"What do you mean? Aren't I coming with you?" She reached for his hand but he was just out of reach. He may have pulled it a little back too. "Doctor, please sit."

This time the Doctor didn't sit, he instead stuffed his hands back into his pockets. "Where to? Or rather who to?" he asked. 

Rose wasn’t sure exactly how to answer. If the wrong words came out she could lose him forever. It wasn’t a chance she wanted to take.

Before she could come up with anything he spoke again. "Rose, I needn't remind you that I remember everything. I heard you say that there's someone you are seeing. I don't know how, but I get it. I just need to know where to go so I can take you to him."

He was really hurting, it was obvious. Rose then knew it was time to set him straight, as embarrassing as it may be. She only hoped that when she was done he’d understand and not decide to leave her for good. 

"Sit down you silly alien." Her tongue touched smile broke through his shields and he smiled a little once again, taking a seat just a little closer to her. 

Rose turned, crossing her legs and faced him, taking his hand in her good one. At first she had to tug on it to get him to loosen up. She managed to get it free though, and laced her fingers in his. She drew a breath, here goes nothing. "I'm not seeing anyone else." His shoulders came down at least an inch with her statement. She saw this as a good sign and kept going. "When you were John, it was hard to be around you at first. Then I noticed... him... getting softer, nicer and stuff. It was just a little bit of things here and there. Then when he made a pass at me, I knew that he wasn't you and that if I did go for it and kiss him, you may be mad at me so I came up with the first thing that popped into my head. I'm sorry if you misunderstood me. I did that just to stop him. I know you don't feel that way about me."

Now it was Rose's turn to look down. She could feel him shift on the bed, getting closer. Then really close. She realized that he was reaching for her injured wrist, taking it gently in his hands. He played with the straps on her brace. "I'm sorry you got hurt. I never intended for that to happen. Wait, what am I thinking? I'm so thick!" He reached in his suit jacket pocket, fished around and produced his sonic. After fiddling with it he unstrapped her brace, gently pulled her hand out and aimed at it. 

Rose felt a little buzzing on her skin in time with the rhythm of the sonic pulses. The Doctor sat back, turning it off. "There you go, all fixed. Try it out. I mean I know it was fixed before, but now it's all healed too."

Rose rotated her wrist around and wiggled her fingers; it didn't hurt to move it anymore. "Thank you." she said shyly. 

They sat in uncomfortable silence for a few more minutes. The elephant in the room was still there after him fixing her wrist. Rose found herself getting restless and wondered if that was it. He may be done, she mused. In that case she should finish unpacking. Rose was just about to turn and start on her suitcase again when she noticed him start to shift a little. She looked back up at him to find him looking intently at her. 

He sucked in a long breath. "I do."

"What?" she coughed out. 

Suddenly the Doctor was on his feet. At first it looked like he was running out the door, but he turned back and she saw that he was indeed pacing. His hands were deep in his pockets again, then in his hair then back into his pockets. 

Rose watched him go back and forth a few times before she addressed him. "Doctor, is there something the matter?"

"No, well yes, it's complicated." He stopped briefly to talk then started wearing down the carpet on his current course. 

Rose's thumbnail came to her mouth again. He was making her nervous by being nervous. "Doctor, can you calm down? I mean can you just maybe start by maybe just explaining what you mean by 'I do'. Then we can go from there."

The Doctor came to an abrupt stop right by her bedroom door. He wore a bewildered expression. This made Rose very uncomfortable. What was he going to tell her? She felt a rock descend into her stomach. Maybe he was taking her home. Had she done something wrong? Hundreds of questions all thundered into her head at once, but he didn't speak. Rose was quickly developing a headache. She even rubbed her temple waiting for him to say something. Anyway it happened, this whole experience was excruciating. 

The Doctor was frozen in place, his face not changing; the only thing moving was his eyes, darting around alarmingly. Finally, after an eternity he spoke, barely above a whisper. Rose had to lean forward to hear him. "I do. I mean I do feel that way about you."

The most intelligent thing Rose could come up with at that moment was, "Huh?"

He made a little move towards the door and Rose thought he was gone. He in fact laid his hand on the door jamb. "You said that you know I don't feel that way about you. Does that mean that you feel that way about me?"

Rose's thumb fell from her mouth. There is was, asking her to answer the question she had known the answer to since he was the other him, but never was never able to verbalize. She swallowed hard. 

"Well ok then," he said quickly, making her jump, "I'm just going to go and take care of... something." He ducked out into the hallway.

"WAIT!" Rose yelled after him. A long second later he poked his head back in. 

"Yes Rose?"

"Please come in, I need to tell you something." 

Slowly he entered again, moving like he didn't want to get too far away from the escape route. "Please Doctor, please come sit." 

Painfully he moved towards her. It seemed like it took him forever to finally sit next to her. Still he sat with his hands clasped in front of him, not making eye contact. 

Even though sitting like that made her feel like he didn't want to hear what she had to say, Rose started. At least it would be out there and he could act on it as he chose, even if that meant dropping her off at home. It had been a good run, she mused. She didn't want it to end, but some things she couldn't control. It was time to stop dancing around the truth. 

"Doctor, I do feel that way. I have for a long time. Even before you were this you. You have given me the stars, and helped me become a completely different person. And in doing that I... well I fell in love with you. I don't want to hide it anymore. You can do whatever you want to with this information. You can do nothing, you can do something, and it’s your choice. It's up to you. If you want me to go I can do that t..."

Rose's speech was interrupted by the Doctor turning and cupping her cheek then landing a kiss directly on her lips. Rose was shocked at first, but recovered quickly. She melted into the kiss. His hands migrated to the back of her head, drawing her even further in. Rose acquiesced and dove in herself. His lips were softer than she had anticipated. Next thing she knew his tongue was seeking her out and she let him in willingly. He was a wonderful kisser and soon Rose found herself pushing back just to breathe. He saw what she was doing right away and smirked, instead planting kisses on her jaw and neck, sending her into a fit of giggles. 

Eventually they ended up on their backs on the bed, both winded, staring up at the ceiling that the TARDIS had conveniently splashed with twinkling stars. The held hands recovering from the most anticipated snog in the history of the universe. 

Suddenly the Doctor rolled over. “I need to tell you something.”

Rose chuckled. “I think I know where you are going with this. You mean how often he said ‘I love you?’ It’s nothing, I know that. It was a shock at first but I get it.”

“No you don’t. Now that I look back he…I was practicing.”

“But you said he was completely made up. That he wasn’t you.”

“That may not have been entirely accurate. In actuality, some of me might have leaked through. But I never have been able to say it before. It was like a warm up.”

“For what?” Rose had rolled over to face him now. 

“For this…” He gently caressed her cheek. “Rose I love you. I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. Even those battle worn eyes could see that you were what I needed. I’m just sorry that it took so long for me to actually verbalize. Can you ever forgive me?”

Rose’s answer was another impressive snog. 

After they both recovered, Rose was the first to speak. "So what now? I mean I actually never thought we would get this far. Where do we go from here?"

He draped his arm across her abdomen. "So what happened to all those great dresses you had while I was being an arse?"

"I have them all, I wasn't going to leave them for anything. They were great. I gotta give John credit for that. He wanted me to look good."

"Maybe that was a little more of me creeping through."

Rose grinned at him, placing a kiss on his hand that was attached to hers. 

"So about those dresses Rose, how about you put one on, and I take you somewhere nice to eat. There is this restaurant on Obo that you actually are suspended in the air by force fields. No chairs at all no tables or anything. Everything just hangs there. It's brilliant!”

"Sounds like fun. Let me just get dressed."

"Can I pick out my favorite?"

"Dress? Sure I suppose. Shall I model them for you?"

"Oh yes."

The modelling session didn't last long, nor did the dresses, which ended up on the floor. And dinner on Obo? That was put off until the next day.


End file.
